Jenny Burrell

I need this to be a happy, upbeat blog. I felt so bad when an ex colleague and good friend told me that she reads my blogs to cheer her up! Over the last few weeks I have used them to vent my spleen!

On Sunday afternoon I ignored the weather forecast (three apps on my phone) and invited four friends over for drinks in the garden. After spending many hours of lockdown weeding, planting and maintaining the lawn, it paid off and the garden looked really good! Even if I say so myself …..

All afternoon the sun shone, then vanished behind rolling dark clouds, then proudly reappeared to give a false sense of hope! At three o’clock we had a few spots of rain and it looked as if two out of the three forecasts were going to be correct! They had predicted a 50% chance of showers. We still had an hour to decide so bravely soldiered on, wiping down the garden furniture.

At half past three my glass overflowed as the sun made a successful bid to fight off the storm clouds gathering ominously in the distance. I went upstairs to remove my ‘glad rags’, which have become a second skin and ‘frock up’, to smarter casual. Winter clothes packed away last week and replaced by summer wear, I was spoilt for choice! But the sun was still shining so, decision made, I was back downstairs and ready to put cushions on chairs.

I was very careful when arranging the furniture. Leaving at least two metres apart I placed two chairs alongside each other with a small table in the middle. Singing happy birthday twice as I washed my hands, then bathed them in sanitiser, I got three bowls and three ramekins from the cupboard. I carefully poured crisps into each bowl and hummus into the ramekins. Ten minutes to go and I was ready. The sun was still shining.

It was so good to chat to someone other than our partners! We laughed about holiday mishaps (all desperate to get away!) shared our experiences of our wonderful trips to Namibia (another couple had visited as well) and thoroughly enjoyed the occasion! It was so novel and really exciting! Socialising for the first time in over three months was exhilarating and such a rare treat! The weather did try to spoil our fun, periodically clouding over with a threat of rain, but it was only two hours later that the first drops brought play to an end!

Within a few minutes friends had left and the garden was empty. Zoom meetings and FaceTime are all good but nothing beats physical contact, albeit two metres apart! For the first time in weeks I felt confident that we had turned a corner. Things were going to get better. A tiny taste of normality was all I needed to peer over the dark clouds and see the rainbow. 👠

I’m getting fed up watching the news. It is so negative and depressing! I’m also getting sick and tired of journalists who are primarily the cause of adding to the stress and disquiet gripping the nation.

I fully understand and my heart goes out to all those who have suffered unimaginable pain over these last few months. At least we were able to have our few close family members with us at both my mother and my mother in law’s funerals. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of loved ones denied this basic human right!

But we cannot stay in lockdown forever. We have to slowly take the first intrepid steps to start rebuilding our shattered economy. Children have to go back to school.

I don’t want to politicise this awful virus. I don’t have enough knowledge to pass judgement and play the blame game. I am just getting so frustrated when the news is always finding fault with every tiny step the country is being asked to take to get us out of our prisons!

I believe there are three factions.

There are those who won’t go out until we have a vaccine or a cure. The government must continue sponsoring them. Alas, there are no money trees in Kew Gardens or anywhere else for that matter! Certain age groups of children have been urged to return to school. I cannot begin to imagine the affect this lockdown must be having on them! And how can parents go back to work when they have no childcare? Fear abounds and I feel for all those faced with this dilemma.

Then there are those who think that the government is opening up too slowly. It has become a slanging match between the two factions, fuelled by the media to gain the most publicity! Both appear to agree that the government has stopped following scientists advice. And the scientists interviewed have conflicting views! So who or what can we believe?

Then we have the third category of people who never bought into lockdown in the first place! They have gone on their merry way for the last three months, held rave parties in woods, met up in pubs behind closed doors, had their hair cut and socialised throughout! Not all are young people! I’m not being ageist!

There are more than 66 million people living in this country. How could anyone have managed to get all of them to adhere to the lockdown rules? Citing an unseen enemy and removing our freedom, as if we were living under a dictatorship, was apparently the only way to win the war and survive this pandemic! But a huge number of us did knuckle down and stay at home!

I have also seen so many acts of kindness, so much selflessness, so many normal people coming out and doing their bit for their community. Yet, on balance, the media prefer to focus on the protagonists who shout the loudest and cause the most dissension. I have seen television ‘debates’ where the reporter has not even allowed his interviewee to complete a sentence. This reporter then smirks on twitter and brags about how fearless he or she is and incites others to follow suite! All in the name of freedom of the press or is it just self glorification?

I hope that those protesting over the weekend adhered to the lockdown rules and don’t create another peak. What happened to George Floyd was truly awful and completely inexcusable. I do understand the passion this mindless, wicked act of injustice has fuelled but seriously concerned about the virus using another weapon to make a comeback! All those clamouring for their space on beaches over the long hot summer days last week hopefully stay virus free and don’t infect others.

Small islands and countries are gradually winning the war. They are being held up as shining lights! They locked down early, had testing in place immediately, tracked and traced from day one. It’s easy when you have a tiny population, huge open spaces and are prepared to obey the rules!

I’m sitting in our small television room surrounded by some of my father’s beautiful paintings. It’s quite dark and cloudy this morning. I’ll post this blog then get up from my comfortable sofa and face another new day. But, I’ve made up my mind! I’ll stop watching the news! I’ll only listen to the evening Coronavirus updates and turn off Twitter. I’ll create my own positive bubble! I have nothing to lose! This is the way I am going to win the war! 👠

The last couple of months have been surreal! I still wake up and can’t believe that I should only leave the house if absolutely necessary! Spontaneity, of which I am very guilty, has been quashed! Routine has become my mantra to try and cope with this continued isolation!

The first few weeks I found relatively easy. The rule of law was to stay at home, only go out if absolutely necessary and don’t mix with anyone outside your household. And we were all in this together! That was important because there was no choice and everyone just had to knuckle down and get on with it!

But the rules have now subtly changed! We still have to stay at home unless we need necessities, but can go to garden centres, hardware stores and meet up to five friends or family members. We can also exercise in teams of six and play non contact sport, outside, all keeping socially distant!

So the rules have been relaxed yet I still feel so strange! We drove up to Yorkshire, sat outside with my daughter and son in law, wandered around their garden, staying two metres apart, didn’t go inside their house and definitely no hugging! Weird and totally unnatural!

I was really looking forward to seeing her! She was keeping well and our cup of tea was delicious! It was a beautifully warm, sunny day and her garden looked lovely. So why do I feel like this? Very uncomfortable, quite down, not happy! Definitely moved back to ‘glass half empty’!

I feel ungrateful. I know that there are many people far less fortunate than me! I should be happy about a huge number of things and get really annoyed with myself for going off piste and losing the plot! It’s even raining today, which is a very welcome relief after the hottest, driest May in 124 years! Our garden is desperate for this rain and our lawn looks like a winter South African one, brown and unsightly!

The time has come for me to get my head around this next stage in the battle against Covid! If I don’t yank myself out of this stupor I’ll have lost the war, a daunting, frightening thought! To make matters worse my blood pressure has spiked again so have had to increase my medication! This really annoys me as I know I should be coping a lot better! I have to get a grip!

Yesterday afternoon we met friends outside their spacious back garden. We had delicious cake and my favourite South African red bush tea. There were six of us. These are good friends and we have known each other for many years. I mentioned my anxiety which has caused the blood pressure spike and was given some really good advice, breathing exercises and relaxation. We had some good laughs, enjoyed the warm sunshine and agreed to meet up again soon.

So, it’s down to me to take responsibility and get back on track! I’m not an island and how I behave affects others! It’s not all about me! I need to take this first step!

I have made plans for today, getting my summer clothes and shoes down from the loft and packing away boots and coats. I will get back to taking one day at a time! When the black cloud hovers above, I must continually remind myself of everything I have, a lovely family, some really good friends and (usually) good health! My husband is a huge support so I have everything I need at home.

Onwards and upwards! Life is too short to dwell on negatives! If I can’t change anything then it’s up to me to adapt to the current situation. Nothing lasts forever, not the good nor the bad! I needed to recognise that my glass was almost empty. Only I can top it up so today will be good, tomorrow even better! 👠

I’m irritated and frustrated! I’m not going to judge! My opinion doesn’t matter! I’m a tiny, tiny cog in a gigantic wheel! I understand that tiny cogs, united, can bring about huge change, but that is for another day! Today I just need to get this off my chest!

For the last few days the news has not concentrated on this hugely dangerous and debilitating war against an invisible enemy. It has all been about one person accused of flouting the lockdown rules. I do understand how people can feel infuriated and be convinced that there is one rule for all of us and one for the political elite!

But, what is really annoying me is the backlash, encouraged by some journalists and certain celebrities, for us all to now break the lockdown rules! This great British public who, predominantly, listened to the government and obeyed the law, are now being made to feel like fools! Being one of these ‘fools’ I strongly object to the way some in the media are callously using peoples lives for their own publicity and egotistical ends!

Why would I put myself, my dear family and close friends lives at risk because I want to get my own back on a government advisor who did the lockdown his way? If it backfires on me and I get infected and then shed the virus, who would be to blame? Who would give a damn if I was responsible, due to my own selfish, ignorant actions, to cause severe illness or a possible death sentence to a close family member or friend? It certainly wouldn’t be the individual currently been hounded and now hogging the limelight!

I hope that truth will out and the right decisions will be made by people we put in power to protect us! I am all for freedom of speech but the media do wield huge power! During this very distressing time we all need to stay focussed on survival, not only of the fittest, survival for all! It’s not about planting deadly seeds into the minds of frustrated, desperate people vulnerable and ready to find any excuse to feel normal again!

But not yet! If there is another peak and we have to go back to square one, the ramifications would be catastrophic! I really hope that common sense will prevail and we all dig our heels in for the final showdown! It will be a slow, controlled battle but we’ll get there without acting foolishly and thinking we are spiting someone who really doesn’t give a damn!

So, please stay safe and focus on the end goal! Meeting family and friends in their homes, going back to pubs and restaurants, going on holiday, losing this sword of Damocles which has hung over us for months! Ignore the scare mongers and sycophants! If we take one step at a time, slowly and carefully, we’ll beat the virus and win this war! 👠

Even though the message from the government has changed ever so slightly, my life hasn’t! I’m still only going out when I have to (every second week for groceries!) and haven’t been to the garden centre as yet, which would have been my ‘unessential’ legal journey. I’m still only exercising once a day.

My time management skills, since I’ve become a ‘lady of leisure’, have deteriorated quite dramatically. Throw in lockdown, for weeks, and they are non-existent! Every day I promise myself that I’ll spend at least two hours in the garden, weather permitting. Alas, by the time I’ve had breakfast, answered emails, filled in my diary, watched the news over my second mug of coffee, washed and dressed, gone for a walk, had lunch and tidied the kitchen, it’s after 2:00 pm. I try to type a chapter of my novel every day. That usually takes about an hour. I also try to do a ‘remote’ exercise class and watch the daily Coronavirus update at 5:00 pm.

Currently I have to chose between typing my novel or working in the garden. I’m not managing both. And to make matters worse, I’m not even too concerned, but slightly embarrassed! There is no excuse stuck at home all day! But I seem to blink and lose an hour or two! Maybe lockdown is finally getting to me! Maybe I am becoming, slowly but surely, apathetic?

I hope not, but I’ll work on that tomorrow!

However, what really makes my blood boil is when I hear the government not telling the truth about their support of care homes! I don’t spend my time running the government down. I doubt anyone in power in this country could have done much better! But when I hear from one of the carers who has stayed in contact with me since my mother passed away in March, I really get wound up!

There is a huge problem getting enough and the correct personal protection equipment (PPE). They are also experiencing difficulty getting testing done. Two fundamental requirements during this pandemic and yet, as discovered over the last few weeks, so many residents in care homes have died! This is unacceptable and inexcusable!

Care homes have always been the poor relation! Our local council, in the five years my mother was in a care home, had either cut or certainly didn’t cover, all residents expenses! My mother had to sell her home to pay the exorbitant fees and I am convinced, supplemented those residents in social care! I am also aware that privately owned care homes have to cover their costs and make a profit. It’s a fine balance!

I have seen, first hand, the staffing problems experienced. To fill vacancies I have been horrified when trying to speak to agency staff unable to speak English! I have also been humbled by some wonderful carers who treat residents as if they were their own family!

These ‘caring angels’ who nursed my mother so lovingly and patiently are now expected to put their lives, and those of their loved ones and the frail residents, at risk. I have heard that doctors sent ill, aged people to care homes to free beds for potential Covid patients. Many were not tested. Why were their lives any less valuable than the rest of the population?

I am hoping that this is a wake up call! This awful virus has brought this country to its knees, but maybe, albeit inadvertently, it could have left one positive legacy?

Care homes need to be brought into the twenty first century. This is where a large number of our beloved family members spend their final days. My mother was in a care home because I physically and mentally couldn’t care for her. She was placed in the hands of strangers. As a family we hoped and prayed that our mother would be given the best possible care.

My family were lucky. Our mother passed away peacefully with me at her bedside. Thousands of families weren’t! I hope that this pandemic has finally highlighted this gross injustice and huge inadequate funding and support deficit! These wonderful carers, who are barely paid a minimum wage, should be treated with the dignity and respect they treat our loved ones!

I’m still soldiering on trying to take one day at a time, keeping the water (or sometimes gin) in my glass half full. Today the sun is shining. This evening I’ve arranged a barbecue, just the two of us, but outside enjoying the garden and the good weather. Tomorrow will be another day ….👠

On Wednesday we received an A4 sheet of paper in the post emblazoned with a Union Jack and a request to join a street party! Not remotely! An actual party, in our street but adhering to the social distancing rules.This was going to be easy. We have space between gardens and a large green in front of our houses.

Most of our neighbours are lovely and we all get on really well. The tiny percentage who aren’t don’t cause any trouble. They just keep to themselves and ignore the rest of the street. So, another chance to ‘frock up’! And it was my turn to go shopping as well!

On Thursday night I washed my hair and cut my nails. Not painted them or had a manicure or pedicure, just cut them! I exfoliated, used a face mask and shaved my legs! Not that I was going to expose them, just to show that I was making an effort! I sorted out a red, white and blue outfit for Friday evening and had an early night so that I could get to the supermarket first thing on Friday morning.

My timing was wrong! I didn’t realise that Friday was a bank holiday. The supermarket opened at 9:00 am for frontline staff and those over seventy. I was twenty fifth in the queue when I arrived but that meant nothing! Arriving just before 8:30 am I remained twenty fifth in the queue until 9:55 am when I slid up to twentieth! I stood quietly in the lovely warm sunshine, minded my own business and didn’t speak to anyone! My children would have been proud!

Shopping done and I was home by 11:30. After our daily walk I made a salad ready for our barbecue after the party at 6:00 pm. I helped my husband set up two chairs and a table on our front lawn. I had bought snacks to enjoy with our pre dinner drinks. I wasn’t sure how we were going to communicate as the distances between our houses were great!It was going to be a challenge. Perhaps we should have arranged for some loudspeakers?

But, we took it in turns to walk along the wide street. We easily kept our distance yet chatted to everyone, taking turns to speak to neighbours, one at a time. We kept moving. There was never any need to remind anyone about social distancing. It was as if we had lived like this our whole lives! We had a laugh, commiserated and cemented new friendships. We have lived in this house for twenty years. We have waved to faces in cars. We have greeted neighbours as they walked past, usually with their dogs. We have now made new friends and promised to meet up on our green for picnics, barbecues and drinks when the world re opens! I can’t wait!

So, lockdown week seven was a good week. We used it to form new friendships, remember those fallen during the Second World War so that we can have the freedom which, until now, we have taken for granted!

As we gradually move into the next phase where we will have more of the freedom that our grandparents fought for so heroically, I’ll not forget those who have lost their lives in this pandemic. I’ll also remember the silent army who have signed up to test possible cures and vaccines! Our contribution is to stay at home! So let’s use common sense, adhere to the guidelines and slowly, one step at a time, we shall all meet up again ! 👠

I am eternally grateful that our weather has been fantastic! Good old Blighty to help get me through this unnatural, surreal period and still remain, most of the time, ‘glass half full’.

I’d be lying if I said that life has been a doddle. I have suffered from occasional anxiety attacks lasting as long as it takes to remind myself how lucky I am! I have a garden. I live in a rural, beautiful part of the country. I am fit and active enough to take long walks every day isolating with someone I get on with really well. Most of the time. I do remote daily workouts, courtesy of our gym, so can keep relatively fit and supple!

But I have had a distraction, which has helped. Our house backs onto a lane which separates us from a ten acre wood. For the twenty years we have lived here it has been known as ‘our wood’. Not because we own it, but because we love it.

We sit in our conservatory and look across at the changing seasons. We revel in the abundant bird life. During winter we can see right through to the field on the other side. As April moves slowly into May the naked, gnarled, nameless shapes morph into majestic beech, sycamore, ash and oak trees! The rhododendrons are part of the ground cover and, for most of the year, look like boring overgrown shrubs. In May they come into their own and produce masses of delicate, mauve blossoms.

So you can imagine our concern when we noticed road making equipment parked at the far end of ‘our wood’! We knew it had been sold but presumed it was bought by the same farmer who had purchased the two adjoining fields. We had naively presumed it was going to be his tax evasion, called ‘set aside’, which is government funded.

Rumours were rife. We heard that a large number of trees were going to be felled and an adventure park built in the unploughed field at the top of the hill. Sound travels far on still, balmy days and we watched in horror as trees began to crash down amid shrieks and whoops of delight! We heard the digger bashing and crunching it’s way through the thick undergrowth and saw the steel bucket swinging precariously as it moved past our kitchen window!

This had started to affect my sleep as, previously explained, I do a really good worry! A couple of days ago we walked down the lane and noticed a red car which had a forestry company name emblazoned on the side. My husband decided to query the price of removing a huge ash tree at the bottom of our garden and we got talking to the young man leaning against the door.

He told us that his company had a five year contract to manage the wood. Trees would be removed when necessary as a conservation exercise. The road up to the top field had a small detour to avoid a badger’s sett. Before the trees had been felled they had checked for birds nests. He gave us his word that the wood would be sensitively maintained and we had nothing to worry about! He didn’t know anything about chalets and adventure parks. Of course he wouldn’t! He was a forester!

So I have slept easier! There could still be plans for a development in the field above ‘our wood’! This would greatly increase the traffic using the lane but, as I am trying to adhere to my lockdown mantra, I am taking one day at a time! I’ll fight that battle when, or if, I have to!

The sun is still shining. The birds are still singing. We are all still fit and well. It’s Friday. I’m having my first gin and tonic of the week when the sun goes over the yardarm! We’re having a party in our street starting at 4:00 pm to celebrate VE Day. We’ll adhere to social distancing but it will be good to do a spot of socialising again as we remember the millions who perished during the Second World War. Puts things into perspective!

All we have to do as stay at home and fervently hope that our brilliant scientists either get a vaccine, find a cure or the dastardly virus gets annihilated through lack of available human hosts! Whichever comes first! Life and the economy needs to get back on track! I would really love to see family and friends and have a holiday! But not today! 👠

But who’s counting? I bet a vast number of people!

I don’t know if it’s just my imagination, but there does seem to be more cars on the road this week.Our quiet little country lanes have not been as quiet. In fact, on Friday I wanted to hold up a placard reminding people to stay at home!

I’m trying not to be judgemental and I am sure that the occupants of those cars had very good reasons to travel! I also understand how sitting at home looking at d i y jobs and discovering that B&Q has reopened, would tempt even the most law abiding citizen! How do you explain a non urgent trip if lockdown is causing mental health issues? Taking on a project in your home could alleviate a lot of stress thus prevent a mental breakdown. What does surprise me is how patient people have become, waiting for hours in queues!

Gardening certainly helps relieve my stress but not anymore! I can walk around my garden but can’t pull any weeds and my husband can’t mow the lawn. We have nowhere to store the waste. Garden refuse is not being collected for the foreseeable future. So, walking around my garden has become a stress enhancer and one to be avoided at all costs! I’ve filled every tub and the compost bin is bulging at the seams. We have been warned not to have bonfires and I can understand this! On Saturday night someone took it upon themselves to burn their waste and the acrid smell was horrendous!

I need to get back to my glass half full so can report that our latest walk was marvellous! We have discovered hiking trails instead of lanes and roads. This will greatly enhanced our daily exercise. We have lived in our current house for almost twenty years. During that time we have taken many walks, either alone, the two of us or with friends and family. We have never once tried a hiking trail! Until yesterday.

I felt as if I was on holiday! We strolled through ploughed, planted fields, saw different wildflowers, masses of butterflies and heard new bird calls. There weren’t any cars, cyclists or even joggers or other walkers to ensure self distancing rules were followed! The sun beat down on a wonderful, peaceful world and I arrived back home, ten thousand steps richer and totally de-stressed!

However, today it’s raining, grey and cold so am having to live off memories and wait for the next sunny day. It will have to be the next few sunny days so that the fields can dry out or else we’ll be walking in our wellies! But I know that this glorious, tranquil world is within easy reach. What a discovery! This lockdown life has made us explore our own little part of England, which has come up trumps, so all is not bad!

Hopefully we’ll get some idea of how the country is going to gradually open up again. Boris is back at the helm! Until then I’ll continue trying to take one day at a time. I’ll clap for the carers and all the front line staff on Thursday and continue to hope that this demonic virus burns itself out and life returns to normal. I’ve eaten my daughter’s Easter egg so will have to buy her two next year! But life goes on, albeit it at a much slower, isolated pace! As Captain Tom Moore said, today is good. Tomorrow will be better! 👠

It came as no surprise that the lockdown was going to be extended for another three weeks. There are still far too many deaths and, even though we might have reached our ‘peak’, there doesn’t seem to be a downward trend. As yet. But I live in hope!

Talking to friends we are all in the same boat, just some of our boats not the same size! Upper lips need waxing, hair coloured and cut, and nails looking very much the worse for wear! And then there’s Botox! My forehead hasn’t been this mobile in years!

I found myself googling leisure wear the other evening. I am getting so tired of my ‘glad rags’! Because it’s not quite warm enough to bring out my summer casuals, I’m still having to chose between black, grey and navy ‘outfits’ which are becoming very worn and boring! Just walking, gardening, housework or sitting means that I need clothes I can move around in freely. This rules out jeans. Even my comfort fits aren’t particularly comfortable!

On Saturday we were back to grey skies and mizzling rain. This would have been a good opportunity to go to the cinema, wander around a garden centre, getting ideas for summer plants or visiting a National Trust stately home. Of course there would be other options but those just sprang to mind when I stared despondently out of the window. But I filled my day, typed another two chapters of my novel, listened to the daily Coronavirus update and had a gin and tonic! So all good in the end!

On Saturday morning I googled light lunch recipes and made a stuffed sweet potato ‘concoction’. It was healthy and I thought, tasty and unusual. My husband’s comment, when asked, was not a meal he’d put on his top ten list! I didn’t even know he had a list! Amazing what one can learn about one’s spouse of thirty five years when one is locked up with them for weeks!

I have even had a Zoom lunch! Two of my friends and I sat together in our dining rooms, casually chatting, the same as we would have done in a pub. I had my sandwich and a mug of coffee and we discussed life in general but the current situation in particular. One of my friends is ensuring her shopping is disinfected, she reads her newspaper a day later and only opens essential mail on the day. Her others letters are left to rid themselves of any virus so only handled a few days later. She sent me a video to explain.

My husband went shopping on Friday. It was his turn and he shaved and got dressed up in his smart casuals! I gave him the shopping list and he set off, earlier than usual, to reach the shelves before they emptied. About half an hour later I received a frantic phone call. The list had blown out of his hand and he wasn’t going to lose his place in the queue. Could I text him what we needed! The result of his shopping trip was buying enough food for ten people for a month!

I had disinfected the work surfaces in the kitchen and was going to take over the unpacking. I had planned to rinse off plastic, wash fruit and vegetables and use antibacterial spray on tins, bottles and glass jars. My husband rushed into the kitchen with his hands full and dumped the bags down on my sanitised section! That was the start of the nightmare. I put the bags down on the floor, resprayed, filled the sink with a diluted bleach solution and started the marathon wipe down. And the bags just kept coming! Fruit and vegetables to feed an army, tins of tomatoes, beans of every kind, sardines, tuna, salmon. I couldn’t believe it!

Apparently the list I sent was far too short (of course it was! I made it in a couple of minutes!) so he had rushed up and down each aisle and grabbed what he though might have been on the original list.

So, back to disinfecting! I did my best but probably not enough. I was fast losing the will to live so just have to ensure that all fruit is carefully washed before use and vegetables well cooked! At least the fridge and freezer containers were wiped down so felt something had been achieved! It was nerve wracking! But what is even more annoying is that it’s my turn to go out next week. Unless neighbours and friends need groceries I’ll be all dressed up with nowhere to go!

But life goes on and each day, when the sun shines, is used to full advantage. I have ordered plants from one of the few nurseries who will deliver, so am looking forward to getting into the garden to prepare. Vitamin D is apparently a good Covid-19 deterrent as it boosts your immune system. I’ll get it the natural way, from sunshine that must not be wasted!

So, stay safe and at home. Remember to clap for all our frontline workers on Thursday and this will soon be just a dim, distant memory! My glass remains half full! Unless it contains gin and tonic and it’s over the weekend …..👠

,

Last Saturday morning I set the alarm clock. It was my turn to shop and I wanted to get to the supermarket early. That’s when the deliveries apparently happen so shelves should be full. Front line staff and those over seventy have the first hour to themselves but I wanted to be in the queue as soon after nine o’clock as possible!

This sounds really crazy but I was excited to be going out yet slightly concerned! I was looking forward to getting ‘dressed up’ but apprehensive about going into a potential Covid-19 environment! I felt safe at home! I had control over what I did and where I went. I was in lockdown and had taken it very seriously.

But we needed to eat. I also had a list from three other households who were over seventy and had underlying health problems. My husband did his bit last week. Now it was my turn. I had to ‘man up’ and get out there! This agoraphobic tendency was new to me! It had to be overcome or ignored!

So I concentrated on my wardrobe! Not exercising, but only going for daily walks and keeping to the same diet did not bode well. I chose my ‘largest’ pair of jeans, a new blouse bought a while ago but never worn and highish wedges. Bearing in mind I have lived in comfort clothes and flats for weeks! In my defence, I still paint my face every morning and ensure my hair is clean and tidy so haven’t completely ‘slobbed’!

My jeans weren’t very comfortable but I could still do them up! The weather forecast was sunny and warm so my new blouse would suffice. I had washed my hair the previous evening so felt ‘frocked up’ and ready to go! I put a bag of antiseptic tissues and hand gel into my handbag and hit the road!

The road was bizarrely empty! There was minimal traffic out and about at eight thirty on this sunny morning. In fact, for most of my journey I was all alone! Surreal! I arrived at the supermarket to be met by a long queue which snaked from the entrance to almost the end of the car park. Undeterred, I parked, re-sanitised my hands, collected my bags and joined the queue.

And then I morphed into my mother. I started chatting to people in front and behind me! My mother used to do this when I took her shopping. I kept on reminding her that not everyone wanted to talk! I didn’t! I just wanted to do the shopping and get out of the supermarket as soon as possible!

I lasted about five minutes before I made my first comment about the lovely weather! Not very original but just felt the need to talk! The lady behind me naively looked at me, smiled and agreed. My first victim! I just couldn’t help myself. I was out in the big bad world, had my freedom back and my spirits had begun to lift. All was going well as we slowly moved along, everyone quietly minding their own business. Even I had reached the end of my ‘newsy’ chat and began to enjoy just being outside and away from the house.

And then someone coughed! Twice! Somewhere behind me!

My earlier paranoia returned! I froze and could feel panic take hold. My logical brain kicked in, albeit briefly! That cough didn’t have to be Coronavirus! I turned around and saw the culprit! A young woman in a vest and shorts with a mass of pink hair! She coughed again, into her arm! She must have been about ten metres from me. Was that any protection? I caught the eye of the woman I had spoken to earlier. I could see a look of fear on her face. The young woman coughed again.

Suddenly the queue surged forward! One more cough later and I was inside the supermarket, lists in hand and concentrating on getting finished. I passed a few women looking as if they were on a hospital ward, all togged out in protective gloves, masks and head visors!

Soon the car was packed and I was ready to leave. The roads were still empty. People were obeying the request to stay at home. I hope that young women didn’t have Covid-19. If I had a cough, knowing it is one of the symptoms, I would not have gone out. Perhaps she had been tested. Best I reserve judgement! I felt for those closer to her in the queue. We are living through very fraught times! Paranoia is bound to set in!

So, I’ve done my stint for another two weeks! I’ve left ‘food parcels’ outside friends’ doors. I’m going to change back into my glad rags, stay home, stay safe and help the NHS! I just need to exercise more and eat a bit less …….👠