Jenny Burrell

Over the last few weeks I have been doing the weekly grocery shopping for a friend whose husband had recently been diagnosed with leukaemia. I don’t enjoy shopping. Throw in COVID with people not wearing their masks properly and not keeping their social distance, it doesn’t take long for the red mist to surface.

During previous lockdowns (we’ve had a few!) and over the last few months, my husband and I have alternated the weekly grocery shopping. I just need to get out! Even if it’s only once a week and it entails shopping! When my turn, I go to the local ‘upmarket’ supermarket. I shan’t mention names! My husband really dislikes my choice. He insists that the prices are outrageous and the quality inferior unless you buy Prince Charles’ organic ‘Dutchy’ brand. We’re all entitled to our own opinions….. Because I now need to go every week I decided to join my husband. I would give his favourite store another chance!

Bad move!

I didn’t set my alarm as I’d had a wakeful night. We left late. I was warned that it meant empty shelves! Surely shelves were continually being re-stacked? Where I frequent, the aisles are always busy with employees filling all the empty spaces! They are also invaluable help. My friend’s grocery requirements aren’t the same as ours. Her lists often include items I can’t find!

So, Friday morning was different. Very different! Because we were late (I had been warned!) many shelves were bare. Few staff were visible and when I did manage to find one, unhelpful. Now, I could try to understand if the empty shelves contained perishables. What I cannot understand was that it applied to things like tomato purée, lemon juice, a specific cereal, gravy granules and black currant jam! This is just bad management and heads should roll! Throw in those wearing their masks beneath their noses, others on their phones with their masks pulled right down and masses of little super spreaders running around unattended, it was not a pleasant experience! No one checked the numbers allowed inside the store and the tills were heaving! Is it any wonder our infection rates remain high?

Next week I’ll go back to the local ‘over-priced’ supermarket. I’ll wait patiently in the queue outside. I’ll have my list and any number of willing assistants to help me find non standard products. They will have tomato purée, a common brand of salted butter, blueberries, raspberries and daffodils! I’ll go at a time that suits me!

I’ll always be a ‘shopophobe’! One day we’ll get rid of this virus, or learn to live with it and life will return to normal. My husband, like his mother, loves grocery shopping! On our numerous holidays (when the world was our oyster!), the pair of them would gravitate towards supermarkets, even if we had our meals provided! Something I could never understand!

So, when the world reopens, I’ll spend Friday mornings in the gym. Or having a long walk. Or even doing housework! It’s that bad! Anything other than grocery shopping. My husband will leave early and go to his favourite supermarket alone. He will wander around the aisles without any distractions, happy as Larry.

Boris is sharing his roadmap with us on Monday. It’s only a roadmap, I have to keep on reminding myself. It will not be the fastest route out but we’ll get there in the end. And lockdowns will be consigned to the history books!

But it’s the weekend. I’m sitting with a glass of wine and looking forward to ……… no rain tomorrow so that I can get out for a walk. Some sun would be good! Maybe a cowboy movie after dinner? I’m not really asking for much ……..👠

During this pandemic and into our third lockdown, mental illness has escalated. Being physically unwell is easy to understand as the patient invariably looks ill. Most of us are visual so can see the disability which makes sympathising so much easier! Mental illness is the challenge! The patient often looks fit and well yet their behaviour can become unacceptable getting them ostracised, ignored or even intensely disliked. When a mental illness is diagnosed it is so much harder to accept.

When I was a young girl I watched a friend picking her alcoholic father up out of the gutter and tenderly walking him home. My friend was slight and frail, her father a strapping six foot giant! Yet she was determined that he came to no harm and wouldn’t let any of us help with her precious charge.

My father had vascular dementia. He was an artist and painting had been his passion for years. One day I vividly remember spending ages trying to explain that the leopard he had painted looked strange. My father had lost his perspective and the animal appeared to be in three unconnected parts. The man before me looked and spoke like my father. I had just not fully understood, or perhaps, fully accepted, that he was ill and needed to be encouraged, not ‘criticised’. This had been an unintentional oversight because, over the years, I had always given my honest opinion.

And then my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I was slightly better prepared but still found it so difficult to accept the full ramifications of her disease. She looked well. In fact, as her stress levels diminished, so did her wrinkles! Because she was given wholesome regular meals in the care home, she looked physically better than she had done for many years.

I have been married for a long time! I was devastated when my husband was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. He had to suffer months of chemotherapy. He had a very physical disease. I saw this strong, healthy, indestructible man unable to get out of bed in the morning. His body was being slowly destroyed by the poison pumped into it! But he had a physical illness. Far easier to comprehend.

I know of many circumstances where people won’t accept that they have a mental health problem. Alas, there comes a time when decisions have to be made. Sadly, it often takes a crisis and someone to get hurt, or worse, to be the wake up call. The earlier help is sought the better! Everyone is entitled to and deserves a quality of life, not only those who are ill but the many people they affect.

I feel very sorry and helpless when I see partnerships unravelling, be it friendships or marriages. Like my husband, who has thankfully fully recovered, I really appreciate the time I spend with him. That there is help available for mental illness and addictions brings hope to those battling debilitating, personal torment. With proper support they can go on to lead normal, happy, healthy lives. Unfortunately, throughout these lockdowns, accessing treatment is not straightforward. Fear, embarrassment, long waiting lists and perpetually being told that the NHS is becoming overwhelmed, are all deterrents.

On the news channel yesterday I saw an interview with one of the country’s top divorce solicitors. There are going to be many non-COVID casualties and unfortunately the breakup of partnerships is going to be one of them. She explained how mental health problems and addictions had exacerbated a large number of separations. So sad, especially if children are involved.

So, everyone who is eligible for the vaccine, please take up the offer! This will be the only way we can edge closer to normality and everyone who needs help and support can get it. Do this for your loved ones and for the rest of the country. Feeling helpless and struggling with any kind of illness under lockdown must be so lonely and very frightening. The only light at the end of their tunnel is the vaccination of as many people as possible. This will stop the spread of the virus and slow down new mutations. We can all play our part. Let’s show our gratitude and support our scientists who have worked so tirelessly and unselfishly for many months. Having a united front can and will help save lives! 👠

Over the last few weeks we have struggled through lockdown with the weather not doing us any favours! We’ve had snow, ice, sleet, frozen rain, rain and more rain! Until today!

This morning I awoke to the sound of first one and then the second grandfather clock belting out eighteen chimes! Nine each! It took a while for me to work out the day. It was Monday so I should have set my alarm! I like to differentiate between weekdays and weekends. I’m careful with my diet over weekdays and allow myself wine with my meals over weekends. And I have a semblance of a routine during the week. I need some discipline to help me through our third lockdown!

My husband and I have started doing exercises in the mornings, just for half an hour, before lunch. This has been incorporated into my weekday routine (I know, I’m sad)! But today was going to be different! We are the proud owners of a new ‘bosu ball’ and a ‘strength ball’! I have become even sadder to get excited about different exercises! Alas, this strange insular existence is having weird side effects!

Forgetting to set my alarm I was later than usual. I did have a slight panic. Old habits die hard. I had to remind myself that I have stopped rushing! This is a very minor challenge because there is nowhere to rush to and time just chugs along predictably. So, when I opened the curtains, what a marvellous surprise! I saw bright sunlight! It was bitterly cold but the sky was blue! The birds were singing and I felt my spirits slowly beginning to lift despite being a Monday! I really don’t know why I have never liked Mondays!

Even the news is better. Lockdown appears to have lowered the infection rates for the second consecutive week and the deaths, always so desperately sad, are also very slowly coming down!

Opening the blinds I peered through window. I could see two nut hatches hungrily pecking at the sunflower seeds on the bird feeder. A large wood pigeon was siphoning up scraps and a squirrel rushed frantically around the pigeon trying to bury his spoils in the lawn. Four long tailed tits joined the nut hatches who suddenly decided that the feeder had become overcrowded so flew off. Maybe they were social distancing!

The exercise session this morning was different. Not only was it slow and disjointed, but brought home to both of us our lack of balance and general fitness. Almost a year of just walking with occasional bouts of sit-ups, press-ups and the odd plank obviously hasn’t been enough! Maybe that’s also why the bathroom scales are no longer my friend!

But, all is not lost! A few hours have passed. The sun is still shining and we had a good laugh as we drunkenly fell off the ‘bosu ball’ and the ‘strength ball’ in equal measures! At least we were both useless! It wasn’t only me! I can just see my husband practicing quietly so that he can show me how it’s done! Highly competitive whereas I just want to be able to do the basics and not break any limbs!

So, tomorrow we’ll try again. At least we are trying! Anything is better than nothing! Mondays also don’t last forever! They morph into Tuesdays and then Wednesdays ……. Soon it will be Friday and I can sit in front of the fire with a glass of red and look forward to the weekend! 👠

I’ve discovered another radio station! No, it’s not new and has probably been on air for many years but I have only just found it! A revelation!

For many months I have listened to the radio every day and tried to soothe my jaded lockdown nerves with classic fm. I get news highlights every hour on the hour. A lot of the adverts are irritating but I put up with them and usually just have the classical strains of well known composers as a background ‘noise’. But that was until a few hours ago!

I am sitting in the conservatory ‘chilling’ to Phil Collins ‘Groovy kind of love’. I have been transported back in time to a world where there were no pandemics, the sun always shone and I would endlessly daydream. I’d imagine dancing cheek to cheek with the boy I really fancied when I was thirteen years old! He was so handsome and looked like Davy Jones from the Monkees!

My mother wouldn’t let me hang posters up on my bedroom wall but I was allowed to hang them inside my cupboard! Davy Jones took pride of place! When I opened the door and sat on my bed, I would gaze lovingly into the eyes of ‘X’! And he would gaze lovingly back at me!

When I turned thirteen I was allowed to have a party! The excitement was great, I invited a few of my friends and asked them to bring a friend or a boyfriend. There would have been about twenty of us. My father tidied up the garage and we hung bunting on the walls and balloons from the ceiling. My mother baked biscuits and cakes and we had a good supply of Coca Cola, Fanta Orange, crisps and peanuts!

The only concern my parents had was potential gatecrashers. These would have been older boys on motor bikes and, heaven forbid, drunk! This was South Africa in the mid sixties and we lived in a small town. It was a different world and we were all so naive! I still believe that it was a good time to be young and an ideal place to grow up!

Looking back to that party makes me smile now but it remained cringeworthy for a long time! I didn’t ask ‘X’. I was too shy, as were most of my friends! Only two classmates brought a boy with them. The music, limited to my tiny collection and a few borrowed records, was repeated over and over again! By the end of the evening we had memorised all the words! Eventually my mother joined the party and got us all dancing in a circle! I would have dearly welcomed the excitement of a few gatecrashers!

I had forgotten how uplifting music could be. Since I sat down to write this blog I have moved from one memory to the next! Otis Redding’s ‘Sitting on the dock of the bay’ was followed by Yazoo’s ‘Don’t go’! Currently I’m listening to Elton John singing ‘Don’t go breaking my heart’.

The snow is falling and I’m snug and warm inside. My husband and I are obeying the rules and staying at home. It would have taken a lot to get me out today. The hill outside our house is like a sheet of ice. We’d have to dig ourselves out of the drive before we even contemplated that hill!

The sun is slowly sinking behind the trees. It’s not a brilliant sunset but it’s stopped snowing. My husband is building a fire in the sitting room. I’ll get up shortly and open a bottle of red wine. I’ll sit in front of the crimson flames and let the music wash over me. Life could be a lot worse!👠

Alas, we are back to square one! Back to the 23rd March, 2020! This nightmare was going to be over by the summer! And then it was going to be by the autumn and then Christmas …….

I’ll try not to be judgemental but do feel that the position we find ourselves in could have been largely avoided if everyone adhered to the rules. Don’t mix with other households and stay at home! Only go out for essentials and exercise locally! This is not rocket science! There are still covidiots who refuse to believe there is a pandemic and do their best to dissuade those eager to ignore the rules. Most of them don’t need much persuasion! So, here we are, back at home with the only escape a vaccine which will take months to reach the whole adult population!

A neighbour was away over Christmas. He got back a few days ago. There is a second car parked in his driveway. He lives on his own but sometimes has his girlfriend staying over. This is not the girlfriend’s car! Looks as if he has a few ‘bubbles’! Another neighbour had her family from two households over the five days of Christmas, initially allowed but then cancelled. They all took regular walks during those five days so obviously thought that they were immune to both COVID and the rules! This is just in my immediate neighbourhood and a handful of houses! I’m sure it has been replicated around the country! So selfish!

I feel as if I’m becoming very bitter and must make a concerted effort to get my head around this because it’s life! It happens! There will always be those who flout the rules and live their lives as if they are islands! I’m a big girl now so should take this in my stride! But it’s hard to accept what is happening in this country and around the world! So many people are dying and many more desperately ill in hospitals! So much of this pain and suffering could be avoided!

As I write this blog I’m trying to sit in a comfortable position because, a few days ago, I fell into a pothole while wading through a flooded road on one of my daily exercise walks! The council had been made aware of the problem weeks ago but nothing had been done. I had walked through the stream many times and never had any problems until, finally, due to the icy conditions, a deep pothole had developed on the one side. Wearing wellies, I waded confidently through the stream and chose that side of the road, landing unceremoniously in the ice cold muddy water! When my husband helped me up I knew that my shoulder was not good! I was soaked to the skin! It was freezing cold and I had to walk about a kilometre back home!

It’s a week later and I am still suffering! I am surprised how much I use my left hand despite being right handed! Simple things like washing and drying my hair, dressing, cooking, housework (currently the least of my worries) all become Herculaneum tasks!

I took my life into my own hands and visited a physiotherapist. She thinks it’s ligament damage but can’t be sure as she was not able to do a proper examination due to the pain and restricted movement. I have been given exercises. If, after a week, it is less bad her prognosis is correct. If not, I’ll have to make an appointment with the doctor. This is well nigh impossible at the best of times but when the surgery is concentrating on the vaccine rollout ……… So, I’ll try and stay positive and hope that the next few days will show an improvement.

I am finding it harder to stay positive but don’t have a choice! Not being able to exercise properly is the worst. I had planned to join my daughter’s zoom yoga class. There are also a number of classes on line thanks to the gym I haven’t attended for nine months! The weather has been bitterly cold with snow and ice making walking quite treacherous! So I feel as if I am expanding at an alarming rate and will have to get a whole new wardrobe when the world reopens! This is not a good thought!

I wish I could hibernate and wake up in March! There is a pile of ironing waiting for me in the kitchen. Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away! Maybe my husband will offer to do it for me! Was that a flying pig I’ve just seen at the window? Oh well, thankfully, tomorrow is another day!👠

Christmas was always going to be different this year. We had heard the mantra from the government months ago and knew it was a fair assessment! COVID wouldn’t take a break and allow us to see family and friends without spreading and sharing it’s viral load! We didn’t need scientists to work that one out!

So, when the surprise announcement came that we were allowed five days of freedom to mingle with three families and be allowed to cross boarders into all countries within the United Kingdom, it was received with disbelief! But then excitement set in and plans were made, turkeys ordered and presents bought! Alas, a few days later this had changed to one other family and one day! Christmas Day!

For my husband and I it was always going to be just my daughter and her husband. The only border we were going to cross was between Cheshire and Yorkshire! Both counties were in tier two so there wasn’t going to be any cross-contamination! We had booked the B&B. My daughter and I had discussed COVID security so would minimise potential infection risks. We were going to have a good time despite this sword of Damocles hanging over us and the whole country!

And we did have a good time! We started our visit with breakfast on Christmas morning because the owner of our outrageously expensive B&B had decided not to serve meals. No one was going into our room during the duration of our stay and not for a further thirty six hours after we left on Boxing Day. We felt like lepers but I consoled myself in the knowledge that anyone staying there would get the same treatment!

We had a delicious goose with two stuffings, zoomed our families in America and Australia and played scrabble. I helped to feed the animals, spoiling them with their Christmas presents, carrots for the horses, brown bread for the chickens, lettuce for the geese and fancy tinned foods and chewy treats for the dogs and cats!

So another Christmas has come and gone! For us it wasn’t a white one but today the snow has arrived! Photographs were taken and sent to friends and family in warmer climes! The fire was lit and, after a slippery walk down the back roads, I’m feeling snug and warm inside our house!

It’s been two and a half years since I became a ‘Lady of Leisure’! Two and a half year that I have waited to be snowed in and not having to dig my car out of the drive. My husband and I were usually the only two scraping the road up our steep hill and spreading grit! Our younger neighbours waited for us to finish this laborious task before they left for work! It used to really annoy me but we needed to leave early to avoid the traffic! Today it’s a bank holiday and most people are working from home anyway!

But I shan’t let this small irritation get in the way of spoiling my day. It’s relatively bright and not raining! It’s stopped snowing and already beginning to get dark. It has also begun to freeze. Luckily I filled the bird feeder yesterday. It had become a hive of activity just before sunset.

I’m about to pour myself a glass of red wine and sit in front of the fire. The lights from the Christmas tree in the sitting room are silhouetted against the conservatory window and sparkling on the white snow. The tall, leafless trees in the wood at the bottom of the garden are standing stark and still above their snowy white fluffy carpet. It is indeed a Winter Wonderland! Outside my back garden! I feel blessed! Just beautiful! 👠

My body is giving me a rough time! It’s not coping very well with lockdown. Not happy with visits to the hospital and doctors over the last few months, my teeth have now decided to join this new ‘Health Club!’

I had a sore tooth. I ignored it for a few days, only eating on the right side of my mouth. It’s not all that easy! Food migrates and I wasn’t prepared to go the liquid only route! Eventually I had to throw in the towel and phone the dentist!

Like each hospital visit I received a COVID phone call. Have I got a persistent cough, a temperature, a change in my sense of taste and smell? Have I tested positive to COVID? Have I been with someone who has tested positive? Have I been contacted by ‘Test, Track and Trace’? Have I been asked to self isolate? Have I been abroad within the last fourteen days? Having received a number of these calls I could preempt the questions and just say no to all of them. But each receptionist or hospital worker needs to tick all the boxes so I had to patiently (it’s getting harder!) listen to all the options, over and over and over again!

Twenty four hours after the COVID check I got another phone call from the dentist’s receptionist. I have to wait in the car when I arrive. The dentist will phone me when she is ready. I will have to wear a mask, sanitise my hands, have my temperature taken and, using my NHS COVID app, register the venue. A suggestion to get to the surgery a few minutes early because parking was a problem, was added as an optional extra.

I knew I’d need a filling! I really do not like going to the dentist. This is a huge understatement but I’ll leave it at that! I am, after all, a big girl now and half a stone heavier thanks to lockdowns!

I got to the surgery early which was fortunate. I drove around the block at least four times before finding suitable parking. I knew that it would be easier getting in than out but would cross that bridge later! The phone call came, as prepped! I passed the first hurdle and got to the dentist’s door. A large plastic container was at the entrance. I was asked to remove my glasses and mask and place them in the container together with my car keys, mobile and jacket. The lid was sealed and I was allowed to enter.

The dentist and her assistant were unrecognisable in their full PPE garb. This is not a complaint. They need all the protection they can get. I just wasn’t expecting it! After examination I did need a filling. The old one had cracked so part of it would be replaced. Because of the need to drill (that’s why I don’t like dentist!), I had to have the first appointment in the morning after the nightly full sterilisation. The surgery would have to close for a couple of hours to re-sterilise before allowing a new patient.

This coronavirus has certainly created a climate of extreme fear and caution! Once more, this is not a complaint, just another observation! And back to square one with another COVID telephone call, waiting patiently for the questions with all the same negative answers! This was followed by the second call explaining the procedure to get into the surgery. I survived and had the tooth filled a week later.

But, my body was on a roll with the tooth leading the way! The old filling decided that it wasn’t going to share space with the new one and left! It fell out two days later. Take three ……

I’m sitting in the conservatory looking out at a dank, grey sky and watching the mizzling rain. But today I don’t care. In fact, I am glad that I can’t get out for a walk. I’m self isolating for the last weekend before my final hospital procedure on Monday. In fact, I hope it rains all weekend! This sounds churlish but at this stage, weekend number three, I really don’t care!

Roll on Christmas! I desperately need some good cheer, good food and good company! And I’ll make my pathetic body carry even more weight! Serves it right! I’ll show it who’s boss! 👠

I’ve started Christmas shopping. Unlike a few of my friends who have smugly finished wrapping theirs, I have never been that organised. I used to blame my job until two years ago when I became a ‘Lady of Leisure’ so that excuse doesn’t hold!

But I do have an excuse! I have no imagination when it comes to gifts. I used to give vouchers and justified this two ways. I worked so had little time and it was so much better to allow recipients their own choice. Throw in the January sales and it’s a win win!

I stopped the vouchers last year which resulted in panic buying! My husband is little help and we spent days wandering aimlessly around the shops trying to decide on gifts. This year I don’t want to spend any more time than absolutely necessary in crowded shops! If only I knew what to buy!

Earlier this week we spent the morning in Chester to start our Christmas shopping. My husband wanted a watch. Now that’s a whole shopping experience on its own! I have never seen anyone, nor could I ever have imagined anyone, so careful when shopping (he’s a Yorkshireman!). We started by looking in the windows. We circumnavigated Chester and then went through the precinct. We managed to whittle down the jewellery shops to three after having examined at least ten windows!

Because I hardly ever have the opportunity to ‘frock up’ I was wearing high heeled boots and a jumper recently purchased on line but not particularly warm. However, it looked good! Not a lot of protection from the winter wind but not considered when I dressed that morning. Two hours into our trip I felt as if I was walking on hot coals! I was desperate to sit down and rip off those boots! And I was freezing!

My patience was wearing very thin. I hadn’t done any other Christmas shopping! But we did, however, ‘briefly’ digress from watches and moved on to jackets! There was a closing down sale in a sports store. My husband needed a new anorak so the next half an hour was spent trying on two! I kid you not! Only two! Eventually even the sales assistant was looking like he was losing the will to live! I needed to take control and told my husband that it was now or never. He had to make a decision! He took neither. I slunk out, my feet reaching a new level of pain and shivered as the icy artic wind roared through my new jumper!

So back to the watch! I managed to get him inside a jeweller’s shop and he was quickly accosted by a young, eager saleswoman! I had spotted a chair and made a beeline for it! Oh what bliss! I was warm and my feet weren’t pounding the pavements and inflicting debilitating pain! I could have spent the rest of the day sitting in that chair! In fact, when a watch was finally chosen and paid for, I had to force myself to stand up and leave my new ‘happy place’! Life could be so cruel!

I managed to struggle around a few more shops and, ticking off gifts from my crumpled list, ended the purgatory at the supermarket. The last challenge was climbing up three flights of stairs to the car park. My husband never uses a lift unless absolutely necessary! Laden with parcels was not deemed a good enough reason to change the habit of a lifetime!

The journey home was sheer bliss. I switched on the car seat heater, leaned back and made a mental note never to wear high heels to Chester ever again. The cobbled streets were so quaint but definitely not designed for impractical footwear! The chance to ‘frock up’ on my next visit will stop before I reach my feet! Flat, sturdy boots will be the order of the day!

So I’m back sitting in the conservatory with a coffee and scanning the internet for gift ideas. I am feeling warm and pain free as I finish my Christmas shopping in the comfort of my home! An added bonus is thar I’m not in close contact with any potential virus spreaders either! My husband will be going to the January sales on his own next year. His anorak will last until then!

I’m looking out at the setting sun. My Fitbit is not happy! I haven’t had my usual daily walk. I have to have a ‘procedure’ at the hospital over three Monday evenings, starting last week. I need three COVID tests and have to isolate for four days before each visit! But that will be another story! Life just keeps on giving, dishing out more and more surprises!👠

I must be a bit of a Scrooge when it comes to Christmas. If I need to defend myself, this time of year has not always been my happiest.

My son and his family have lived in the US for five years. Before they emigrated we had Christmas with them in Kent. I didn’t put up any decorations that year because we weren’t going to be at home on Christmas Day. That set the precedent!

So, last year was the first time I had a Christmas tree for years! It had languished in the loft together with decorations acquired when the children still lived at home. My US family and my daughter and her husband were celebrating Christmas with us on the 27th December! This warranted the exception!

This year we are spending Christmas with my daughter. There was no need to get the tree down and spend ages prizing open the branches and dusting off the decorations. But, three things made me change my mind and ‘leap out of my box’! It’s been a rubbish year, one I’m sure most of us would like to forget! The weather has been awful with many varied shades of grey, all equally depressing! And I felt uncharitable!

The neighbour opposite has made her large bay window and garden very festive! I enjoyed looking across at the lights all shining brightly, lifting my spirits significantly. The evenings are so dark and cheerless. Every little bit of help is gratefully accepted! I needed to reciprocate!

So, the tree is up in the sitting room, strategically placed in the middle of the large window. Every evening either my husband or I turn on the lights. We sit in the conservatory and look out across the green to the neighbours house opposite and smile when our eyes alight on our own equally sparking offering!

I spoke to my daughter in law in the US last week. She told me how her autumn decorations were being replaced by Christmas ones. She always ‘dresses’ her house again after thanksgiving and really enjoys celebrating the seasons and festivals. She was surprised when I told her that I wasn’t going to bother. I think ‘horrified’ might have been closer to the mark but she managed to control the tone in her voice! However, I felt ashamed and couldn’t shake off the feeling!

Nest week brings its own challenges! Today I’m feeling quietly smug. I made the effort despite my initial Scrooge intentions! It’s the weekend. Our house is warm and cozy and bright and my husband is about to build our first fire of the winter.

A glass of red wine as I stare dreamily into the flames is all I’m asking for now! I’ll cross bridges later when I get to them! 👠

So we are allowed to have Christmas! Life gets ever more bizarre! Who could have made this up? There was a very good chance that Christmas was going to be cancelled! We’re not living in a communist country nor under a dictatorship! But we have been taken over by a virus that doesn’t recognise Christmas and certainly won’t be taking any time off!

Struggling through our second lockdown I was trying to find something positive to look forward to. In the last week we have been told of three potential vaccines which just have to pass final U.K. safety checks. If all goes well early December has been muted as the start of roll out. We won’t be first in the queue but at least there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

But the tunnel we are struggling through is very dark, very long and an obstacle course! It will take many weeks and possibly months to reach the light. That was until the announcement that Christmas can be celebrated! A lantern has appeared to light up part of our way. Unfortunately the lantern comes with a huge caveat! It will increase our risk of catching COVID!

Three families are allowed to meet up over five days. I just want to meet up with one family! My daughter and her husband! We’ll stay in a B&B and spend a few hours with them on Christmas Day. Any time will be precious and most appreciated. If windows are opened periodically, the fresh air dilutes the virus! There must be no hugging and social distance must be kept whenever possible. All these rules but they are there to protect us!

I have no problem obeying sensible rules! Some feel that rules are there to be broken but I find this behaviour selfish and unacceptable especially when relating to COVID! Putting others lives at risk because you are a ‘covidiot’ is prolonging this pandemic. It has resulted in so much pain and death. I would like these ‘covidiots’ to be banned from all treatment if they succumb to the virus! Unfortunately the NHS would be humane and treat them anyway!

Whilst I’m in ‘whinge mode’ let me share my thoughts on anti-vaxxers! I belong to an ‘old girls’ WhatsApp group who seem convinced that the scientists are out to get them! Astra Zeneca is the latest company accused of malevolence. None are qualified to pass judgment but their unsubstantiated claims could prevent vulnerable people from getting vaccinated! Astra Zeneca are adamant that they are not going to make any profit! Why would they be trying to steal our DNA (not joking!) or infect us? Why can’t the scientists in Oxford be applauded for working day and night to bring this awful pandemic to an end! The mind boggles!!!

Cheshire will go back into Tier2 after lockdown ends next week. That means that pubs and restaurants can open but we can’t meet up with friends. We can only go as a couple. Better than nothing! Non essential shops, hairdressers, gyms and beauty parlours can reopen. This is good news for our shattered economy.

And there is Christmas to look forward to! Life is not all that bad,👠