Somehow, we have evolved into a nation of unpaid critics. We can no longer simply enjoy an experience. We have to evaluate it, score it and report back to the world! Not so long ago, if we bought something, had a meal in a restaurant or received a service, we’d simply move on.
Those days have gone.
We are now living through a Review Revolution. Absolutely nothing is allowed to happen without someone demanding that we give it a rating up to five stars!
You buy a tin opener. The world needs to know if it successfully opened the tin of baked beans. Did it perform as expected? Was the handle comfortable? Would you recommend it to a friend? It’s a tin opener, for heavens sake. It either opens tins or it doesn’t!
You order from your favourite online store. Those socks need a review. Did that toothbrush transform your dental hygiene? Would you recommend it to a friend? I’ve seen a dissertation written by someone over a pair of kitchen scissors! All I wanted to know was if they could also be used to cut paper and not go blunt!
It gets worse. You can no longer go to a restaurant to enjoy a meal without being invited to judge the entire establishment. Was the food good? Was the atmosphere pleasant? Was the lighting appropriate? Was the waiter sufficiently attentive? If he didn’t laugh at my joke do I give him one star? If I’m not happy with the meal, the atmosphere or the waiter I wouldn’t go back. It’s as simple as that!
Even a traumatic visit to the hospital or to the doctor requires a review. When I make an appointment to see the doctor I immediately receive a text message as confirmation and a request to review the visit! Unbelievably, even medical appointments now expect five star ratings. After giving the appropriate amount of stars I have to justify them with comments. Was the receptionist helpful? Did the doctor listen sympathetically to my concerns? Did I feel comfortable in the waiting room?
How exactly do you rate a doctor’s visit? Does the doctor get five stars if he correctly diagnoses your problem? Do you bring the rating down to four starts because you had to wait twenty minutes? Another star lost because the examination was uncomfortable?
I have a question. Does the doctor also have to go through the same procedure? Will he be expected to evaluate every patient? Were they cooperative? Too demanding? Did they ask too many questions? Were they reluctant to accept that Google was not a medical professional? How often has the patient seen a doctor over the last few months? Was the patient a hypochondriac?
It’s the urgency of these review requests which amaze me. Purchases haven’t even been unpacked, the restaurant meal not yet digested and medical feedbacks arrive before any medication has had the chance to work! In fact, hospital review requests arrive before I’ve even got back home!
Dare I ask, is there a reviewer who reviews the reviews?
Perhaps we’re fast approaching a time when absolutely everything will require a review. One day we could be issued with a personal feedback form at birth. We’ll be invited to rate our childhood, our education, our working lives and finally, our funeral, to be completed by our next of kin.
I can just imagine the NHS getting involved. They could send us an annual performance review each year. As we age we’ll be advised, based on customer feedback, that our general health has slipped by 7%. We’ll be asked to complete a patient satisfaction survey rating our various body parts individually. The left hip could get three stars for effort. The right knee might get a final warning and our digestive system placed on a performance improvement plan. We would be advised that replacement body parts are currently out of stock and to check our warranty hasn’t expired.
Of course, reviews can be useful. They can warn us about shoddy products, dreadful service and establishments best avoided. They can also be a platform to praise excellent service and high quality products. They should not be inflicted on us. We should not feel guilty if we don’t reply!
I think it’s time we stop rating every waking moment and get back to the business of living without having to comment, review, evaluate, criticise, complain or justify. Life should be about enjoying, celebrating and hoping we can live long, happy healthy lives. It’s definitely not about a continual customer satisfaction survey!👠
