I can still remember when buying toothpaste involved one decision. I’d go to the shop and buy a tube. There was minimal choice as all did the same job. The difference was in the price, so the cheapest won. Now when I go to the supermarket the choice is endless! There is whitening, enamel repair, gum protection, tartar control, charcoal, a special brand for sensitive teeth, herbal or even one that promises to improve your social life!
I need cooking oil next. Once upon a time it was just cooking oil. It lived quietly in the cupboard and never caused any trouble. Now an entire aisle is devoted to oils of every ilk. Bottles of oil line the aisle. There is extra virgin olive oil, light olive oil, cold-pressed olive oil, rapeseed oil, sunflower oil, ground seed, avocado, sesame, coconut, and something called ‘infused artisan’ oil, all in varying shapes and sizes and in glass or plastic bottles.
But it doesn’t end there. This is when the interrogation starts. Is it suitable for frying, roasting, drizzling, dipping or high or low temperatures? Does it have a high smoke point, a low smoke point or, for me, an emotional breaking point? Eventually I do what I suspect many have done before me. I buy the same brand that I did last time. That’s not because it’s necessarily the best, but at least we’ve met before!
When I stand in front of the washing up liquids I just want something to clean dishes that don’t go into the dishwasher. Now I have to decide whether I want ultra, ultra plus, max power, antibacterial, eco friendly, for sensitive skin, pomegranate blossom, man, it just goes on and on! Somehow, choosing a washing up liquid now requires the same level of research as choosing a mortgage! I can just see the new range of washing up liquids soon to hit the shelves! It’ll be a liquid with mindfulness. It’ll clean your casserole dish while helping you discover your inner peace. It will be available in ‘Hints of Himalayan Mist’ or Existential Lavender’!
My grocery shopping expedition doesn’t only insist that every purchase needs to be thoroughly investigated and every label studied to get the best product, but you also need the analytical skills of a forensic accountant.
You’re confronted with ‘three for two’, ‘any four for ten pounds’, ‘buy one get one free’, ‘25% extra free, ‘buy six and save 25%’ and the price if you own a loyalty card! I find myself standing in the aisle trying to work out whether it’s cheaper buying three for two, saving 25% and buying six, or just buying one which is all I really need. Then I call my husband to make the executive decision! He’s the finance controller and the keeper of the privy purse!
This, of course, is a marketing ploy. Supermarkets are forever getting us to part with our hard earned cash by trying to convince us that we save money by spending twice as much as we’d intended. Everyone loves a bargain. They never fool my husband! He’s always one step ahead while I lag behind, confused.com.
After this exhausting, harrowing experience we’ve earned a cup of coffee! We head for a well known coffee house. My husband finds a table and I stand patiently in the queue. He just wants a coffee. Gone are the days when we could walk into a coffee shop, sit down at the table and be served a coffee with milk and sugar on the side.
And so the interrogation begins. First I have to confront the size. It’s either ‘short’, ‘tall’ or ‘grande venti’. Then there is the choice of milk. Whole, semi-skimmed, skimmed, oat, almond, coconut, soya or lactose free. Then I’m asked if I’d like an extra shot. Then I get to the menu board. There’s latte, cappuccino, flat white, americano, espresso, cold brew, Frappuccino, iced latte, iced americano or some mysterious seasoning depending on the time of year. And then, of course, is it decaf or full strength! If only ordering coffee reverted back to just a nice cup of coffee!
Television has gone the same way. There used to be a handful of channels and somehow there was always something worth watching. Now we have hundreds of channels, countless streaming services and enough box sets to keep us occupied until the next ice age. And yet, every evening seems to begin in exactly the same way. We spend half an hour scrolling through endless menus and then announce that there is absolutely nothing worth watching!
Perhaps this is the irony of modern life. We’ve spent years demanding more choice only to realise that choice can be utterly exhausting and very confusing! Maybe happiness isn’t having every possible option after all. Perhaps the greatest luxury is simply not having to make endless decisions. If this is progress I’d quite like a bit of the past back! Thank you! 👠
Jenny Burrell 