Growing older, growing bolder!

One of the greatest gifts bestowed on the aged is the loss of an internal censor. It’s wonderfully liberating!

For years I’ve worried about saying the wrong thing, upsetting people or being impolite. I would agree to a request then beat myself up knowing that it was not something I wanted to do but didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But now I’m finding it easier to say’ no thank you’ and not offer any fabricated excuses. It’s amazing the relief and free time honesty can provide!

Now take restaurants for example. Whenever the waiter would ask if everything was alright with the meal, I’d smile and say, ‘perfect, thank you’. These days, if my soup arrives cold enough to preserve bodies or my medium steak is blue and still breathing, I’ll let him know. Politely. Firmly. Without any apology!

Another one of my new found super powers is leaving early. I no longer cling on at parties until midnight because I don’t want to appear rude or a spoil sport. If I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough! I’ll thank the host, collect my handbag and head home to a warm bath and an early night.

This is also the glorious age where fashion trends that look good on lithe twenty year old models with legs up to their armpits, really don’t bother me. At my age I know that horizontal stripes make me look wider and baring my naval, perhaps with a ring attached, would not be at all flattering!

Life is just too short to spend the day squeezed into something described as figure enhancing when the only thing being enhanced is my indigestion! Comfort wins, hands down! Elasticated waistbands stop being a guilty secret and become an engineering marvel! Shoes are judged entirely on one question. Can I walk in them? If the answer is yes they’re worth every penny!

Another aspect of growing older is discovering that my patience when dealing with patronising salesmen has packed its bags and left. When a product I’m returning is clearly broken I don’t want a twenty minute explanation that perhaps I’m not using it correctly followed by a suggestion that I read the operating manual. The product isn’t what it says on the tin. It’s not working. I don’t want it. I’m returning it. Can I have my money back? Please?

Then there’s technology. All I want is my bank balance. It’s bad enough having to remember a password but I’ve had to invent a memorable word, type in three random letters from it, wait for a security code to arrive on my phone, prove I’m not a robot by identifying seventeen bicycles hidden in a grainy photograph and then start all over again because I’ve taken too long! Gone are the days when I walked into the bank and the nice lady recognised me and gave me my bank balance with a smile. But I’m determined not to let it get the better of me! I mutter a few choice words and, when I do finally get the balance, wish I hadn’t bothered!

If someone asks my opinion I’ve stopped assuming that it’s a trick question!

‘Do you like my wallpaper?’

If said wallpaper looks like a tropical rainforest after an unfortunate collision with a paint tin I’m not going to pretend that it’s the best wallpaper I’ve ever seen. Being brutally honest is unkind. Being diplomatic but truthful when asked for my opinion is how I now respond because most people don’t actually want an opinion. They’re really hoping for an enthusiastic confirmation that they have made the right choice!

‘It’s not really to my taste’, is my honest reply. ‘But, if you love it, that’s all that matters’.

After all, they’ll be looking at it every day!

So, if someone genuinely asks for my opinion, I’ll genuinely give it, wrapped in kindness, sprinkled with humour and, usually lightly dusted in diplomacy. I still believe in good manners. I still believe in kindness. I’ve just stopped confusing either of them with pretending.

After a lifetime spent carefully choosing my words, I’ve learnt to choose them carefully. Growing older hasn’t been about losing my filter, or just getting bolder. It’s about finally filtering out everything that no longer matters. After all, if age brings wisdom, it would be a shame to keep it all to myself!