Jenny Burrell

I haven’t worked for three years yet I still get excited on a Friday! I’ve always kept weekends special and nothing has changed! I’ve done this for a reason. One of the common themes about retiring is the mantra, ‘every day will be a weekend’!

Not for me! If every day was treated as a weekend I’d drink far too many G&T’s and wine! I’d not exercise regularly and gain weight. I’d drift from one day to the next with little purpose other than planning fancy meals and seeing friends. Housework wouldn’t feature! The garden would probably survive. It’s my ‘go to’ place, weather permitting.

But, I have been known to bend the rules. Occasionally, not having to get up early, does allow for standards to drop. If we haven’t seen good friends for a while and a Thursday, for example, is their only free night, then the weekend will start a day early.

It was easier to ‘behave’ during lockdowns because the need never arose to actually go out and meet anyone! On a rare, sultry, warm evening, I have thrown caution to the wind! My husband and I have sat in our ‘Teak House’ at the bottom of the garden and shared a bottle of wine over a meal! So the weather does help to keep me on the straight and narrow!

I have always needed a routine and a purpose when I wake up every morning. This became even more relevant when I stopped working. My one dread was not knowing how I was going to fill my days. Having worked most of my adult life and hated ever feeling bored, I made the decision to keep weekends sacred a long time ago.

So far it has generally worked, although sorely tested over these last eighteen months! Seeing my daughter and her partner regularly has really helped. They come over weekends so I have kept to my strict regime during the week. These visits have given me a renewed purpose when lockdown felt interminable. I shall be forever grateful.

Sitting in the conservatory nursing a delicious glass of Sancerre I look back on the last week. I have exercised, got my daily minimum ten thousand steps and enjoyed the dance classes. My husband and I have done regular walks. I am feeling self-righteous!

So, wishing everyone a peaceful, happy and blessed weekend, I raise my glass in a toast! May next week be as good or even better that the last! 👠

Lockdown restrictions have eased. Restaurants can have their usual quota of tables. However, there are still many people wary of mixing and getting too close to strangers. COVID has not and doesn’t appear to be going away any time soon! I still wear a mask in enclosed spaces and prefer to be outdoors as much as possible.

But life must get back to a degree of normality and I must cautiously start socialising again. I have been ‘double jabbed’ so am in the best position to protect myself and others! With some trepidation, I am getting out a bit more. I have mentioned in previous blogs that we have an outdoor dance class three times a week. This has been a life saver! At least I see and speak to others outside of my immediate household and get some enjoyable exercise. The music reflects our carefree teenage years, almost forgotten, but a much needed boost to help us through this current situation! All being of a similar age, we can relate to the sixties and sing along as we unselfconsciously ‘strut our stuff’ on a neighbours driveway!

I have lived here for twenty years and in that time had hardly spoken to anyone in our street. These dance classes have opened up a whole new social circle and I have made some good friends! One of the girls told us about a scrumptious afternoon tea she had enjoyed with her daughter. When the idea of our group going out together was mooted, we all unanimously agreed!

So, all ‘frocked up’, we met at the tea room a couple of weeks later. Chatting animatedly we took our places around two round tables pushed closely together. Teas and coffees ordered, we settled down to an afternoon of frivolity and much laughter! We certainly didn’t need any alcohol! The excitement of being able to meet up with family and friends after so many months was the main topic of our conversation. Some had even had or were planning holidays!

Looking around at the other tables I watched as smiling, happy faces were the order of the day! This pandemic has made me realise how important these social gatherings are to our general health and well-being. Confined to our homes for so many months has, in some cases, had disastrous repercussions! Mental health issues have escalated dramatically.

There were audible gasps of delight when three tiered cake stands were placed before us. The largest tray at the bottom held the sandwiches, the middle tier was filled with small, beautifully decorated cup cakes and the top tier, scones, jam and cream. Suddenly quiet whispers replaced our animated conversations as we chose our sandwiches and tucked in! Complimentary comments and contented sighs would have been all the chef and his kitchen staff needed to show our appreciation!

A couple of hours later, clutching our doggie bags tightly, we made our way home. Determined to forgo supper and probably not eat anything for the next few days, we said our farewells! Great company and absolutely delicious food!

We would have taken these outings for granted, pre-pandemic! Perhaps there will be a positive legacy left by COVID? I personally will appreciate life’s little pleasures so much more! Those long, hard, stressful months of semi-confinement will stay with me forever! If everyone got vaccinated we could get back to normal a whole lot quicker! Alas, we have the freedom of choice! Some use it more wisely than others! 👠

Earlier this week we arranged to meet my daughter and her partner at a lovely old Inn in the Forest of Bowland. My husband and I have enjoyed many walks in this beautiful part of our country.

A few years ago friends met us at the same Inn to start a ten kilometre hike. We sat on the terrace overlooking a bubbling stream close to the the outer wall of the hotel. On the other side of the stream was a beautiful green pasture dotted with grazing sheep. Undulating hills stretched across the horizon, their contours stark against an almost cloudless sky. Down the side of one of these smaller knolls, patches of mauve heather, interspersed with scree, created a sharp contrast to the many different shades of green. We watched as Dippers flew just above the water level beneath us. After landing on a stone for a few seconds they’d dive down into the stream then pop back up and fly off.

When I close my eyes I can still vividly recall this picturesque scene and feel a sense of peace and tranquility wash over me. A perfect example of an idyllic English countryside! Having sat on this terrace many times since that first summer’s day, I never fail to marvel at the splendour of nature. I have watched as the different seasons cast their unique spells over this special little valley hidden deep in the heart of Lancashire!

So, earlier this week we arranged another visit to introduce my daughter and her partner to this sanctuary away from the ‘madding crowd’. We could spend a few hours forgetting life’s drudgeries and many challenges and take a walk along the winding country lanes. We would climb a hill and spread our picnic on a blanket, looking down onto little homesteads. We’d watch livestock feed on luscious pastures as we enjoyed the warm sunshine and marvelled at the beauty of our surroundings. Only the sound of a faint breeze ruffling the leaves of the fir trees in the wooded copse behind us, would break the magical silence.

That was the plan.

Well, we got quite close! We did wander along quiet country lanes and managed to scramble up the side of a hill overlooking a farm. Livestock were grazing on the pasture beneath us. However, the backdrop wasn’t one of a blue cloudless sky. This sky held many clouds of different hues, mainly greys, ominously filling the heavens. The strength of the wind forcing its way though the fir trees in the copse behind us, sounded menacing. Sitting at either end of the tablecloth to prevent it from escaping down the hill, we managed to unpack our fare. We were determined to enjoy this special outing and made a concerted effort to ignore the dampening weather!

But, it was our lucky day! There was no storm, only a small shower. For a few minutes I sat with an umbrella in one hand and a sandwich in the other! The wind surging through the fir trees gradually began to subside! The dark grey clouds rushed past us in winds far exceeding those at ground level. Gradually little cracks of blue appeared, becoming brighter as those dark clouds were speedily replaced by large white tufts of cotton wool.

That evening, as my daughter and I sat on the terrace nursing a well deserved gin and tonic, we looked down at the bubbling stream and on to the green pasture. The sun was moving slowly behind the darkening hills. A few geese waddled along the bank. I could feel the peace begin to wash over me. Suddenly I sat up with a jolt. There was something missing! And then it struck me. There were no sheep! For the scene to be picture postcard perfect it needed sheep grazing contentedly on the lush green grass!

Alas, even in this idyllic haven deep in the Lancashire heartland, perfection isn’t guaranteed! It came close! I can live with that! 👠

I’m having a problem. Not unusual for me but this problem is not going to go away anytime soon! On the 19th July, ‘freedom day’, we moved to stage four in this COVID nightmare and the country’s legal position on masks and social distancing changed. The public were given the choice on how they wanted to live their lives!

However, as with all people, there are those who care and show concern for the welfare of others and there are those selfish, single minded individuals who don’t give a damn! COVID is not going away despite the fantastic vaccination program! There are still too many who aren’t fully vaccinated. About three million adults haven’t even had their first jab! Some abstain on religious grounds, some don’t feel as if there has been adequate testing, some have listened to ridiculous ‘anti-vaxxer’ hype and a lot have just been too lazy to make the effort.

I wonder if these ‘adults’ ever take a step back and look at the wider picture? Thinking about those other than themselves would be even better! Surely some of them have older relatives and family members or friends who have to be particularly careful? The vaccination can help to prevent death and serious illness but there is still a chance someone can get very unwell! And the vaccine doesn’t work for everyone!

We’re getting work done on our fireplace and in the sitting room. I have lost count of the times plasterers and decorators have come to give quotes and stood at the door without their masks! They proudly tell me that they are ‘double jabbed’! I ask if they are aware that they can still transmit the virus and get the ‘glazed doughnut’ look! I also mention that I might not be ‘double jabbed’ so, without their protective mask, they could give me COVID and I could die! A bit dramatic, I know, but I feel really annoyed with their ignorant behaviour! Even if I am fully vaccinated ( I am) I explain, not everyone’s body creates antibodies. About twenty percent don’t! And then I insist that they fetch their mask from the car if they want to quote for the job!

So many people also don’t understand the science behind wearing a mask! It won’t necessarily prevent the wearer from getting COVID but it significantly prevents the wearer from passing the virus on. Someone told me that they don’t wear a mask to a local ‘upmarket’ supermarket because a better type of person shops there! When they go to the others in the town they definitely wear their mask!

I could not control my ‘out loud voice’. I heard the words tumbling out before I could take stock and plan what I wanted to say! I heard ‘selfish’ a few times followed by ‘thoughtless’ and ‘naive’! The ‘upmarket’ supermarket is usually full of older people, the majority wearing their masks. These are the people we should be protecting by wearing ours!

Oh well, it takes all types! For some unknown reason we have not experienced the huge surge in COVID cases as predicted. Enough of us are remaining sensible and choosing to be careful rather than pretend the pandemic has gone away! Long may this last! Let’s also hope that those who haven’t been vaccinated see the light and get their jabs. This will also prevent new variants from rearing their ugly heads and causing another nightmare lockdown.

To all of those who are double vaccinated and wear their masks in public places, I thank you. You are the majority and that gives me renewed faith in the innate goodness of human nature. 👠

Living in England I have come to realise that the topic of conversation about the weather is part of the culture! It’s important because the weather is so interchangeable! We’re living on a small island battered by wind, rain, sleet, snow and now, a severe heat wave!

This week, however, has been different. Temperatures have soared to the point where we have been given ‘heat’ weather warnings. I’ve had to scratch around the garage to find the sprinkler to water the garden. My Yorkshireman husband is having panic attacks about the cost. I remain adamant that this is necessary to save ferns from collapsing and roses, which have produced such an amazing display, to retain their glory!

It’s summertime and that usually means holidays abroad. No one can rely on the British weather for continual sunshine and long, relaxing days next to the pool or on the beach. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, booking these holidays comes with too many caveats for me to take the leap of faith!

My father used to say, being an Englishman in South Africa, that it is easier to manage the cold than the heat! I can finally agree. In South Africa there is air conditioning and swimming pools to help cool you down. Houses are built to cater for long, hot summers. Not so common here!

Something that does surprise me! A few of our neighbours keep their windows open all day! Maybe they don’t realise that closing windows and curtains or blinds when the sun is beating down, is the only way to keep homes cool? My husband and I follow the sun. In the morning we shut up the front of our house and open the back until the temperature begins to creep up. Then, and this is the down side, we close curtains and blinds and wander around like bats trying to avoid knocking into anything! Turning on lights would be too extreme! Especially if I’m ‘wasting’ money watering the garden!

I have forgotten how uncomfortable extreme heat can be! Throw in ridiculously high humidity levels and it creates the perfect intolerable storm! My morning dance classes have started earlier and are definitely less energetic! I come home and do a twenty minute exercise routine. I then have to peel off my clothes! I seldom do more than ‘glow’! Not this week! I’m properly sweating and it’s definitely a first!

Nighttime is the worst! I’ve shared my sleep issues in the past so this last week has not been great! I open all windows upstairs once the temperature has cooled. Once more I fumble around in the dark to avoid attracting man eating wildlife which have flourished in this new tropical climate! I’m like a magnet! I cover myself with copious amounts of insect repellent but unfortunately, probably with all the ‘perspiring’ the critters attack me! My restless nights are made up of itching skin, intense, almost suffocating heat and the fear of marauders climbing through the open windows! Not conducive to a good night’s sleep!

I’ve just seen the weather forecast and low pressure will be moving in tomorrow. Low pressure has become my new best friend. It’s brings rain and lower temperatures! For a few days anyway! Just to cool us down and bring some relief to the garden! I have tried not to be ungrateful! I do prefer the sunshine to cold, wet, grey winter days.

But, like with all things in life, a balance would be good! Not too hot, low humidity, plenty of sunshine and no mosquitos! Just for a few months in the summer. Also, rain at nighttime only would be ideal!

I can dream! Dreams are free! And I don’t sleep all that well anyway …..👠

Last year I wrote about the dance class I attended in our little cul de sac. A good friend and neighbour, an ex dance and PE teacher, kindly offered her services. These classes have continued, albeit sporadically, over the last year.

Weather permitting we are now meeting outside three times a week. The camaraderie is great and it gives us a chance to catch up on local news. Another important benefit is social interaction which is crucial to allay those ‘down’ days many of us have experienced throughout this debilitating pandemic.

The world is slowly getting back to a new kind of normal. Vaccination rollout has been phenomenally successful and restrictions will be lifted next Monday. I have mixed emotions. On the one hand the worry of the new variant, which is causing rising daily cases and hospital admissions, is frightening. On the other, we cannot remain locked down forever.

Our government has decided to make us all responsible for our own actions. Let’s see what effect this is going to have on the spread of the virus and the need, if any, to reinstate restrictions. I’m sure cases will go up due to extra social mixing, but am hopeful that the greater British public will behave with restraint! We must never forget that the virus is still out there! It continues to make a lot of people very ill and some are still dying!

So, slowly getting back to normal, we’re having our kitchen upgraded with a new worktop, sink, tap and hob. Yesterday the kitchen company removed the old work surface and appliances and have left us without water. I came home from my final yoga class of the season looking forward to a cup of tea.

What a palaver to get the kettle filled! The guest toilet has a small basin so I went outside to use the garden tap. The workmen had packed the old work surfaces against the back wall and covered it! I went upstairs to the bathroom and filled the kettle but couldn’t get it out of the basin. The lid had jammed! I turned the kettle at an angle and flooded the bathroom floor! There was no other option but to uncover the garden tap. I felt as if I needed something stronger by the time I sat down with that hard earned cup of tea!

I really struggle with chaos! Looking around the kitchen I saw the pile of dirty lunch dishes packed into a large brown bowl. I boiled the kettle again and washed them up outside on the patio floor. The water supply had to be turned off in the kitchen so that included the dish washer! It reminded me of those dreaded caravan holidays as a child. Even then I preferred my home comforts to weeks away ‘roughing it’!

Wimbledon tennis and the Euro 2020 football games are over. Even our television programmes are getting back to normal. The next big event is the Olympic Games in Tokyo, this time with no spectators crowding the stands, unlike Wimbledon and Wembley!

The weather forecast promised sunshine today! Currently there is a strong wind and dark clouds gathering ominously outside my office window! It’s not raining so I’ll go for a walk before the heavens open! I’ve decided to visit our local pub for a meal tonight. I can’t face washing up a huge load of dirty dishes, pots and pans crouched on the patio floor! Tomorrow the kitchen company will return and my home life revert back to normal! 👠

I have written about a number of mental health issues in the past. My mother suffered from Alzheimer’s Disease. Bipolar Disorder and Depression have featured, as has Narcissism. There is unfortunately another disorder I feel strongly about where help is available but not always sought.

I’m sure most of us have come into contact with someone who has an addiction. Alcohol and drug abuse are well documented. But there is a lesser known but equally destructive ‘sex addiction’.

A few years ago a well known film star shared his ordeal with the press but thankfully gave little detail. I’m sure there were many sceptical sniggers and ribald comments! I read the article and must confess that I gave it little thought and moved on.

That was until this awful addiction affected someone close to me. The sordid details were shared, or as much as I was able to bear! As with all addicts, close family and friends are forced to travel this destructive road with them! There is still a lot of controversy surrounding sex addiction. Symptoms are varied and, because it’s not fully recognised as a mental health disorder, is not given the attention it deserves. However, psychologists do acknowledge it as an addiction and therefore it forms part of their overall studies.

As with all addicts, getting a ‘fix’ is the driver. This usually results in multiple partners placing extreme pressure on already difficult and unhappy relationships. Their covert behaviour hides their dark guilty secret, sometimes for many years. Safety becomes a huge concern and quality of life deteriorates as their ‘fixes’ become harder to satisfy and control. It can eventually lead to loss of livelihoods and alcohol and drug dependency as a self help coping mechanism.

This has not been easy to write. Emotions are still raw. Addicts drag their ‘loved’ ones with them as they sink lower and lower, causing untold suffering and despair. I simply cannot understand how they fail to see the effect their addiction is having on those around them!

I’m not a specialist in the field of mental health so am not qualified to pass judgment! In this instance, however, include a hefty dose of narcissism and a mental health qualification and staying objective and impartial is impossible! Supporting the victim and seeing first hand the serious damage inflicted, is heartbreaking. There are so many question I want to ask. I’m carrying a huge burden of anger and revulsion! Could I have done more? Should I have been more alert and asked questions earlier? This was difficult because I didn’t want to interfere yet I feel as if I have failed in my duty of care!

Unfortunately I’ll never get all the answers. Suicide is often the outcome for this and other addictions especially if help is never sought. What has absolutely infuriated me is the treatment of the partner left behind! The true victim of the abuse becomes the perpetrator! Their character is scrutinised and all blame laid at their door!

But there has got to come a time to leave all this misery and unhappiness behind and look to the future. It’s happened and going back to revisit the sordid details over and over again will serve no useful purpose. I can see fun and laughter returning! I’m taking huge pleasure in rebuilding a precious relationship! There is definitely a ray of hope at the end of the tunnel.

My roses are blooming. Their sweet smell fills the air and their beauty brings my garden to life. They herald the start of summer and a new and exciting chapter for us all! 👠

I’m sitting in the gazebo at the bottom of our garden. I have a glass of cold wine to hand and am feeling calm and relaxed. We’ve had warm, sunny weather over the last couple of days and my mood has lifted significantly. I’ve also had a few good night sleeps! I feel as if I’ve been on holiday!

So how can I replicate this every day? A while ago I saw a ‘happiness’ formula created by scientists. Not being in the least ‘scientific’ it meant nothing to me. Translated into laymen’s terms apparently the key to happiness is being an optimist and not raising your expectations too high! Well, my expectations have been set extremely low and have been for a number of years! And I know my limitations! But my glass, alas, is always half empty!

Being such a pessimist or, as I would prefer, a realistic, maybe it’s time to step out of my carefully constructed box. It has been perfected over many years and become an integral part of who I am. Perhaps I need to give this theory a fair crack of the whip. If I can change my way of thinking to be more positive and still limit my expectations, perhaps this would help? Maybe the secret to happiness is as the scientists have described and their formula correct?

Surely no one can stay happy all the time? I often quote my mother’s mantra ‘nothing lasts forever, not the good or the bad’! She used to often add, ‘so enjoy those good times because they won’t last’! My mother was the eternal optimist so I’m not going to read any negatives into her statement! If life was throwing up curve balls she would say that even the hard times will pass so covered all options!

I need to go inside and start the evening meal. I’ll finish my wine, enjoying the last few mouthfuls, look out across the garden and revel in the beauty of nature at its best! I’ll hold this thought! Unfortunately tomorrow low pressure is back in charge and so is the rain! To optimistically set my expectations I’ll have to think of something else to give me a happy buzz!

Well, for once that is easy! I’m seeing my daughter this weekend! Her partner is bringing his lovely daughter! The weather forecast is good! I’ll have company in the gazebo. There is going to be lots of laughter and much frivolity. Everyone will get on really well and the weather will remain good. I’m not sure how to lower my expectations but remain optimistic! They seem to be interlinked. Perhaps that’s the challenge! But, if your expectations are lower it is easier to be optimistic! I’ll minimise the laughter and just remain hopeful that the weather will hold! I’ll give it a try! I have nothing to lose! 👠

When we post anything on line it should be with great caution and a lot of thought about the consequences! Have we checked the source and and can we verify and confirm the content? It is so easy to forward posts without paying too much attention to their authenticity. This was brought home to me last week and has made me realise how quickly fake news can go viral!

I belong to a WhatsApp group of school friends in South Africa. We should have had a big reunion last year if COVID hadn’t reared its ugly head! It has been good to catch up on their news, some remaining in South Africa and others, like me, dotted around the world. In the main we have all grown into responsible, caring adults. However, there is one member who is a rabid anti-vaxxer! This became apparent last year when the Astra Zeneca vaccine was heralded as one of the forerunners in the fight against COVID!.

An audio recording was posted by this person, a seemingly sensible and intelligent woman! No warning came attached so I opened the file. I was shocked when I listened to the content. Scientists were going to implant foreign DNA into our arms together with magnetic chips to control our every move! We were going to become robots! There were a lot more ludicrous conspiracy theories focused on causing the greatest amount of fear and distrust in the Oxford team of scientists!

It was so far-fletched that I thought it was a joke. I posted a reply to that effect. I was horrified when I received her response! She was adamant that it was true and insisted that no one was ever going to inject anything into her or one of her family member’s arms! Ever! They would all run the risk of contracting Covid and take their chances! I was stunned but moved on, hoping that the post had not inflicted any long term damage and that it would be treated with the contempt it deserved.

Months passed and my husband, daughter and most of our friends all received the Astra Zeneca jab. We were relieved and very grateful! We were doing our bit to protect others and ourselves against what had become a global pandemic of epic proportions! Our scientists were to be applauded, as were all those around the world working day and night waging war on a virus devastating countries and claiming millions of lives!

Last week another video appeared on our WhatsApp group. It began with an American woman claiming that MRNA vaccines were going to kill at least 50 million Americans within the next three years! All those under 30 were going to take a bit longer to die, maybe up to five years! It went on to show interviews of people suffering from Bell’s palsy, neurological diseases, spasms, convulsions, tremors and other horrific skin complaints and disfigurements. These were all as a direct result of receiving a COVID vaccination! Thousands had already perished and the majority of those needing oxygen in India had all recently been vaccinated!

‘Doctors’ from all parts of the globe warned people that they would get awful, debilitating side effects starting immediately or within a few months after receiving their second injection. They would be in excruciating pain and prefer death to their current situation! This was a video posted on line by a women with absolutely no medical or scientific background! The majority of those in our group hadn’t yet received any vaccinations! I was furious! My response was not guarded or carefully worded to avoid causing the least offence! In no uncertain terms I voiced my extreme concern! She was being irresponsible and could cause significant loss of life if this video was believed by vulnerable, gullible people! There are a lot of them and the internet has made easy access to this type of scaremongering and blatant disinformation!

A few agreed with me and thankfully many others said that they had either had their first jab or were waiting for their call ups. Not everyone replied but I am hopeful that common sense will prevail! This same woman is emigrating to the United Kingdom next month. She will be offered a vaccination and it will probably be Astra Zeneca. I’m sure she will decline. She will find that so much free movement and travel will depend on her being fully vaccinated! I also fervently hope that she doesn’t continue trying to influence those frail, aged and suffering co-morbidities from making rational decisions that are right for them. It’s not a legal requirement but one of selflessness, to protect yourself, your family and friends and for the greater good of mankind.

Everyone is allowed an opinion. The United Kingdom holds great store by the importance of freedom of speech. However, where it affects the lives and livelihoods of others and their health and well-being, unsubstantiated, unscientific and unconfirmed opinions must not be bandied around as facts! This is totally irresponsible and unforgivable! It is also scandalous and selfish!

I rest my case! 👠

My husband and I were playing scrabble the other day. It is the only game I play competitively because it’s the only game I stand any chance of winning. I mentioned this as I took the lead and noticed my husband’s demeanour begin to change.

‘I can never understand why you are such a bad loser’ I gloated. It’s only a game’! I added, patronisingly. I waited for his usual muttered response but on this occasion was taken aback by his sudden volatile outburst! He is competitive in every game he plays, whether it’s badminton, football or just a ‘harmless’ game of scrabble.

‘Every game you play you need to try and win or else what’s the point in taking part?’

‘I know my limitations!’ I nonchalantly replied. ‘I enjoy playing scrabble and it’s a rare treat when I beat you! It’s not something I lose any sleep over and certainly don’t get bitter and twisted if I don’t! I’m magnanimous in defeat!’

I was soon to discover that this was not an enviable trait but one to be actively discouraged! Knowing my limitations came with a huge caveat! Did I push myself enough or was I just being apathetic? Did I give up too soon and not make any effort when the going got tough? Didn’t I like to feel a sense of achievement when the battle had paid off? Why did I bother playing games if I had such a defeatist attitude? I am being governed by my limitations and constraining myself within these self inflicted boundaries! Wow! I certainly hadn’t expected that!

So, this is the effect lockdown has had on a couple who have been happily married for thirty five years! We have never quarrelled over occasional games of scrabble. But fourteen long tedious months of lockdown and many wet, miserable days cooped up inside had brought about this altercation and some apparent ‘home truths’!

My response was ‘Everyone is different and it’s not a bad thing!’ I am not a sportsman and have never fared very well in any games, even something as innocuous as ten pin bowling! If I played a good round I got excited, but the killer instinct just isn’t there. I did, however, come first in a bun eating race when I was about six, much to the embarrassment of my parents! Obviously not the race I should have won!

But there is another side to this ‘knowing your limitations’ debate! Whereas I don’t dwell over losing, my husband has been known to beat himself up trying to find reasons why he had lost! It’s often not put to bed until every aspect of every move had been examined! In scrabble, his restrictive hands (too many vowels or not enough) are added to the equation.

I’m of the opinion that setting too high standards can be as debilitating as setting little or none at all! Continually pushing yourself and not quite achieving can have a detrimental effect on your self esteem and confidence. My husband did not agree, so we have agreed to differ! He is adamant that everyone should go that extra mile to try and win! You could always do better and the sense of achievement is worth all the pain! Mediocrity, he insisted, should never be accepted or encouraged!

Luckily this was just a civilised debate and didn’t escalate into a full blown row! We are and have always been two very different people! This has never been an issue! We’re also far too old to change! Our spots are indelible and won’t be going anywhere soon!👠