Jenny Burrell

It’s the silence that accentuates this carnage. Men, arms and legs tied, bloated in death, assassinated in cold blood

It’s the sight of smouldering ruins. Burnt out shells of tanks, cars, armoured vehicles blocking the roads

I make my way into a residential area and pause. Looking around all I see is a confusion of rubble, smoke and dust

It’s the acrid smell of exploded gunpowder that permeates the air. It mingles with the ammonia stench of rotting flesh and nauseating diesel fumes

I cover my mouth and nose. The air, chokingly thick, burns my eyes and I begin to heave

Not all houses are completely destroyed. Some fronts are ripped away, rooms obscenely exposed, furniture strewn like matchsticks

It’s the feeling of utter despair. The futility of this senseless, mindless destruction of innocents

One man has created all this devastation. It took one person to have a vision and destroy a nation

I bend down and touch the dried earth. I pick up a bird’s nest, the embryo charred, grotesque in death

I miss the sound of birdsong. The roar of traffic heading home, the sounds of life

I miss the smell of a garden, my garden. Filled with lavender, roses, sweet honeysuckle, fresh air

How dare one man yield such power. Unstoppable evil, the devil incarnate, justifying this massacre

A small breeze disturbs the air. A broken wind chime hangs on a bent pole, clanging tunelessly

In the distance I hear tanks approaching. I try to find somewhere to hide, stumbling over a baby’s pram

I run into an empty shell of a house. Away from sight I crouch down and, with pounding heart, I wait

The tanks shatter the silence as they roar past. Heading onto another mission, like vampires, they smell blood

Finally, the silence returns. This strange, haunting silence of a town once vibrant and alive

I’m heading for the mass grave. That long train of newly dug black earth piled high, etched against a cloudless sky

There are no flowers left in gardens. Nothing to place a tiny piece of beauty onto this mound of senseless carnage

Apparently these invaders came as Nazi liberators! But this is genocide, mass destruction on a monumental scale

The West waits with baited breath. ‘No fly zones’, vetoed, no Polish planes allowed, just sanctions!

The rest of the world will suffer. As the breadbasket of Europe burns, so too will oil and gas pipelines run dry

I stand in front of this damp, dark earth. Hastily dug to bury hundreds of innocent women and children

Involuntarily I drop to my knees. Grabbing a handful of soil I watch as the grains trickle slowly through my fingers

Sobs begin to wrack my body. I’m so sorry, my tortured cries escape cracked, bleeding lips, you should have been safe here

I try not to imagine what lies beneath. I need to remember my wife and child as I left them, alive and well

That last day remains etched in my memory. I led the convoy of busses carrying our loved ones to this safe haven

We left them in the care of our kinsmen. Then husbands, sons and brothers went back to fight for freedom

A stray cloud covers the sun. Standing up I take one last look around the smouldering ruins of a once beloved city

With renewed impetus I’m back on the road. Darkness sets in and a full moon hangs motionless, leading the way

I’ll rejoin my regiment and soldier on I’ll fight for as long as it takes to regain our land and expel these inhuman oppressors

He will not win, he’ll never win! We’ll remain united, proud, steadfast and strong!

Ukraine will never surrender! 🇺🇦

Jennifer Burrell 2022 👠

It’s 5:00 pm and warm enough to sit in our conservatory this evening. And the sun is still shining! An added bonus! We’ve moved out of winter and into spring and it’s a wonderful feeling! Mild winters have their pros and cons! Flies and mosquitos, the banes of my life, have already surfaced due to the lack of a cold spell! Clocks have moved forward an hour thus bringing longer, lighter evenings. Definitely a plus!

Nature doesn’t change when the world struggles through a pandemic or countries are at war. It is our only constant! As day becomes night so too do the seasons move effortlessly from one to another. Global warming, climate change or just a natural cycle, is altering the earth’s temperature but winter still makes way for spring, plants begin to grow and animals wake from their long hibernation. Apparently summers will gradually become hotter and drier and winters warmer and wetter but the basic seasons will remain.

Leaving behind lockdowns and a covid pandemic, we seem to have moved immediately into the next disaster. If we are to believe the scientists, covid was man made, as is the Ukrainian war! Will our lives ever get back to any kind of normality? How I admire family members and friends who are pragmatists! They approach problems in a logical way and are realistic and practical in finding solutions. Like the seasons, pragmatists ‘just get on with it’!

My initial reaction is always to panic. If I prepare myself, then it will be a bonus if my worst case scenario doesn’t happen! During the pandemic I could at least have some control by staying at home, wearing a mask and continually washing my hands. With the war in Ukraine there is nothing any of us can do to change the outcome. So I fear the worst! According to Google I’m the opposite of a pragmatist! This makes me impractical, illogical and unrealistic!

The war in Ukraine, even though it’s seems far away, has brought another kind of dread. Having nuclear weapons was always a concern but now, more than ever, the possibility that they might be used is even greater! In my opinion, the reason for Russia going to war against Ukraine is baseless, illogical and pure evil. Putin is behaving irrationally and any hope of peace remains a long way away. While civilians are massacred, raped and brutalised, the western world looks on. Unfortunately the threat of nuclear weapons is a deterrent for NATO. No one in their right mind wants a Third World War!

The pragmatists in my family are convinced that Putin would never push the nuclear button because that would trigger retaliation. I think that Putin has lost touch with reality and am sure his advisers are too scared to let him know the truth. Rumours of ill health and psychosis have been enough to fuel my vivid imagination and keep me awake at night!

No one knows the outcome of this war. Crystal balls belong to the fantasists. Even pragmatists are struggling with ever-changing circumstances. They need facts not ‘what ifs’! I avidly watch the news and hope for the best outcome while expecting the worst! Sadly, we’ll just have to wait and see! 👠

I’ve been following the war in Ukraine and, like all rational and civilised people, am horrified! Watching bombs landing on civilians and hearing the number of casualties, is heartbreaking. There are now millions of displaced people, just like you and I, fleeing for their lives! It beggars belief! This is 2022 but we are back to those dark days of the 20th century when greed, megalomania and senseless wars blighted innocent people’s lives!

Every morning, while I have breakfast in my warm, cosy home, I see the destruction of many cities in Ukraine. I listen to interviews with people fleeing, some literally running away with only the clothes on their backs. I shed tears when I see men putting their families onto trains and waving them goodbye. They’re staying to fight for their country after ensuring the safety of their loved ones. Russia’s aggression is baseless and barbaric! There is no excuse, no logic behind these attempts to take over a peaceful, sovereign state.

Ukraine needs help. The rest of the world cannot sit back and watch this genocide unfold. But could this help lead to world war three? Is that the reason why the western world and NATO appears to be dragging their heels? Ukraine’s president, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, stands proud and strong, daily addressing his people and refusing to abandon his office in Kyiv! Such bravery and fortitude is humbling!

A definition of fortitude means that you have strength of mind to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with great courage. The first time I came across this word was my husband’s ex boss telling me that my husband had such fortitude. That was ten years ago when our lives were turned upside down by a cancer diagnosis. Months of crippling chemotherapy had almost brought my husband to his knees. But he had soldiered on and that was when fortitude was accurately applied to him. He was doggedly determined that he was going to overcome cancer and get well.

Watching Mr Zelenskyy every morning, I see his courage and mental strength! This definitely shows that he has fortitude, and bucket loads of it! He encourages his people to stand together against the oppressor! He repeatedly asks the west for help, speaking to presidents of powerful countries all around the world. Ukraine wanted to join NATO, which is one of Putin’s weak, feeble excuses for starting this war. Mr Zelenskyy is showing the world, by his actions, that he is defiant, brave, desperate yet stoically determined to get his country back from the brink of Russian oppression! He refuses to run and hide but remains visible and approachable!

So, as NATO and presidents of powerful nations hold umpteen meetings, convoys of Russian military equipment edges ever closer to Kyiv. It’s also down to members of the public to rally together and do what we can to help this catastrophe threatening stability and peace across Europe and the entire western world. Sanctions are beginning to bite but will be affecting us all. Maybe this is going to be the price we’ll have to pay for Ukraine’s freedom? Let’s hope it’s going to work! 🙏 🇺🇦

I am scared of ghosts! To date (and long may this last!) I have never seen one! But I hold a very real, irrational fear which stems from my early childhood days!

I was fortunate to have both my maternal grandmother and great grandmother (we called her ‘Ouma’, Afrikaans for old mother) throughout my childhood and teenage years. Ouma died when I was twenty and expecting my first child. We just missed five generations!

Much as I felt very lucky to have these two special people in my life, unfortunately they were both avid believers in the spirit world. I found their sightings and stories of ghosts and strange occurrences fascinating but very frightening. My vivid imagination always worked overtime when it got dark and that was when their supernatural revelations would come back to ‘haunt’ me!

I would awaken after a vivid dream and call out to my mother. It was the usual ‘Mommy, I’m scared’! I’d hear her wake my father. I’d take his place in their bed and he would sleep in mine. We’d pass like two ships in the night, just a grunt from my father as he stumbled past and an acknowledgement from my mother. Sometimes I’d tearfully tell her that I’d dreamt of ghosts in my room and she would always say the same ‘ there are no such things as ghosts’!

Ouma lived with her spinster daughter in a small, very old house attached to a larger one. The sitting room comprised of a long dining room table with high backed chairs, some pushed against the wall. Black blinds were drawn as soon as sunlight began to shine through the large sash window. This kept the room cool and prevented the family photographs lining the walls from fading.

As I got older and didn’t see any ghosts, my fears began to subside. If I heard sounds in the night I’d put my sheet over my head to cover my face, just leaving my nose out to breathe!

One specific photograph, in a large oval frame, always fascinated me. I was told that the little girl was called Alice, Ouma’s daughter, who had died when she was about five years old. One day Ouma told me Alice’s story and my fear of ghosts returned.

Ouma was born around 1880 and lived through the Anglo Boer wars. Alice would have been born in the early 1900’s. She was a beautiful, healthy, happy child and much loved by all. When she was five years old she died of a fever which could have been measles, scarlet fever, I’m not sure. Ouma was heartbroken and distraught. She told me that she cried for a long time and sometimes felt so sad that she couldn’t get out of bed!

One night, while Ouma was on her own, she was sitting in bed, trying to read her bible through her tears. Suddenly she felt as if someone was with her in the room. She looked up and saw Alice standing at the end of the bed holding an unlit candle. Mesmerised, Ouma just stared at her, not saying a word. She watched as Alice walked towards her, not taking her eyes off her mother.

‘Mamma, please stop crying,’ Alice whispered quietly, ‘your tears are putting my candle out. I can’t see where I’m going’. Please Mamma, I need to light my candle’.

Ouma took her handkerchief out of her pocket and blew her nose. ‘I can still see her now,’ she shook her head. ‘She was so small. I wanted to reach out and touch her but she moved away, her little face staring up at me.’ I watched as a small flame appeared and her candle began to glow.’

Ouma stood up. ‘From that day to this I have tried not to shed tears for Alice but just carry the pain in my heart. I had to get back to looking after my family and working on the farm. My grief has never left me. I have just learnt to live with it. Ouma could not have made this story up! When I told my mother she said that the family had all heard about Alice.

I don’t believe in seances or simply trying to call up the dead for whatever reason. My brother, a vicar, has exorcised homes and believes that there are good and evil spirits. There are good and evil people so that would make sense! But, long may it continue that I never encounter ghosts! Good or evil! 👠

I’ve mentioned in previous blogs that I’m not generally a relaxed, carefree person. I cannot remember a time when I wasn’t worried about something! My memories of childhood go back to when I was about four years old. Even then this memory is one of being anxious and unhappy!

Yet, within the same families, siblings can differ dramatically! A lot of literature I’ve read through the years has highlighted the ‘eldest child syndrome’. They are often more highly strung than their siblings and I have verified this hypothesis on a number of occasions.

Stress has its uses. ‘Fight or flight’ was effective and a necessity during the ‘hunter, gatherer’ age when having to escape from vicious sabre-toothed tigers or other wild animals was a matter of life or death! It is still relevant today, but not continuously and at perpetually high levels.

It is well known that too much stress is detrimental to both mind and body. It has also been linked to all six major causes of death in the Western world, cancer, heart and liver disease, accidents, lung disease and suicide. Throw in a diminished immune system and digestive problems, deteriorating cognitive performance and mental health issues, the World Health Organisation has named stress as the ‘epidemic of the twenty first century’!

So, knowing the damage stress is doing to my body, and has done over many years, why aren’t I actively doing something about it? Surely there must be some way to channel this stress into something positive? Or am I being too simplistic? Or, even worse, giving up and just living with it? Sounds defeatist but a habit honed over decades and an integral part of my life would take a huge amount of shifting!

I have read many articles on the subject and taken some of the advice and ideas offered by specialists in this field. This was through a fear of the damage I was inflicting on my body rather than the desire to find a cure! Sadly, worrying for me is so normal that I’d be lost without it!

Stress does appear to have a Jekyll and Hyde nature. For years I have been warned against all the bad side effects. Lately, I’ve been most surprised to read a growing number of articles showing a positive side! All I have to do is change from a negative mindset to a positive one and I can ‘turn my life around’! The true nature of stress is very complex and by dwelling on its negativity I am apparently feeding those thoughts into my brain, causing physical and mental damage!

If I had a positive mindset I would be aware of the unpleasantness of stress but I would use it to my advantage and get things done instead of just worrying about them! And not worry about things I cannot change or which might never happen! Apparently I would be more open to negative feedback and thus more willing to question and change my thoughts and attitudes. That would make me more proactive in times of trouble and focussed on getting a solution instead of dwelling on the ‘what ifs’. It’s as easy as that!

But there’s the rub! Because my temperament is anxious, an inveterate worrier and highly sensitive, I could never achieve this dramatic character reversal on my own. Even those of us who are predisposed to being ‘highly strung’, it’s invariably learned through life’s experiences and not something we were born with. Can I, at this advanced age, really retrain my brain to change from negative to positive?

The first seven years of childhood are the most informative. Most parents do their best to nurture and protect their young children but cannot always keep them wrapped up in cottonwool. Things happen at school, when they visit friends and family and even in loving homes that affect children in different ways. That’s why siblings with the same gene pool often have such different personalities.

I have finally decided the time has come to improve my quality of life. The knock on ‘positive’ effect should also be felt by my family and close friends. I don’t want to fundamentally change who I am, I just want to learn how to keep hold of the good times instead of hanging on to the sadness. To always be worrying about something is not normal!

I really want to start this next phase of my life to be open to change. I know I can’t do this on my own but help and advice is out there! England is slowly moving out of the pandemic and taking some tentative steps back to normality. It’s being a long two years with many different kinds of casualties. Post Covid we’ll all have to brace ourselves as we enter this ‘Brave New World’!

I’m up for the challenge. I need to shake off the old and embrace the new! I have nothing to lose!👠

I was speaking to my son the other evening. He lives in Boston in the US and they had had two feet of slow over the last forty eight hours! Once he had cleared their driveway the roads were already snow free and life returned to normal. School busses were running and my grandson, who has just passed his driving test, was able to drive to school. Massachusetts is geared up for winter and heavy snow showers seldom prevent people from going to work or children to school. Unlike here ……. A centimetre of snow can bring traffic grinding to a halt!

After my son showed me their snow covered garden and the driveway which had taken him many hours to clear, we moved on to the summer and the hope for the end to covid restrictions! I mentioned that we were hoping to see them sometime in the autumn. My son reminded me of our enjoyable hiking expeditions we’ve shared with him over the years.

He loves New Hampshire and the White Mountains. This rugged mountain range, part of the Appalachian Mountains, covers about a quarter of New Hampshire and a small port of Maine. They are called the White Mountains because of all the birch trees. We have walked along a few of these hiking tracks and thoroughly enjoyed the wonderful scenery and the quality time spent together. My son has been back hiking on his own. He calls this part of America his ‘happy place’ and asked if I have one.

There was no spontaneous reply. There are countries I have visited which have taken my breath away but I couldn’t think of anywhere specific that I could call a ‘happy place’ and want to revisit, over and over again. This surprised me so I began trawling through our many holidays and places I had seen.

Many years ago, before the Indian Ocean tsunami of 2004 that devastated parts of the coasts of several countries in South and South East Asia, we visited the Maldives. The first week was spent on a boat sailing around the little atolls. The weather was perfect and some of the tiny islands weren’t even inhabited. The ship would dock in the deep water and little motor boats, called ‘dhonis’, would take us to the islands. We’d climb out onto the warm golden sand and marvel at the brilliant, azure blue waters of the Indian Ocean, sparkling in the glorious sunshine.

One specific memory springs to mind. The majority of the passengers would find a place on the beach and lay out their towels. Suntan lotion would be liberally applied and they would spend the next few hours baking their bodies to a crisp! My husband and I used to circumnavigate each island before settling down to read a book or swim in the glorious clear, warm azure waters.

On our last island hop our exploration into the heart of the little atoll brings back very vivid memories. Chatting to each other as we wondered through the palm trees, a huge creature suddenly swooped down, just above us, and landed in a nearby tree. I was in such shock that I couldn’t scream, much less move! Finally, when my heart rate returned to normal, we ventured towards the palm tree and looked up. We spotted the creature hanging upside down, wings folded tightly against its brown hairy body, not moving.

We later discovered that the frightening creature was a fruit bat, or flying fox, with a potential wingspan of 1.5 metres. It flew with its head down, almost within touching distance of us and certainly wouldn’t have won any beauty prizes! They are crucial for managing the fragile eco system of the 1200 small atolls, relatively isolated from each other. These bats spread seeds through their droppings and help with pollination. Fascinating and harmless if we had only been warned!

We headed back to the beach and dragged our plastic recliners to the water’s edge, just far enough to feel the lovely cool water washing over our feet and legs. After our sojourn into the heart if the island and subsequent adventure, I felt hot and clammy. Slowly, I began to relax. Closing my eyes I revelled in the peace and utter tranquility of our beautiful surroundings.

Turning to my husband I mentioned how wonderful it would be if the waiter brought us two ice cold beers! We both agreed that it would the cherry on the top of this fantastic week! A couple of minutes later I felt rather than saw a shadow briefly block out the sun. Startled, I opened my eyes. And there he was! Our waiter holding a tray with one hand and a tea towel draped neatly over his other arm. Two beers, condensation dripping from their bottles, sparkling in the early afternoon sun! I can still visualise the scene and my amazement that my wish had been granted! Two shocks in the matter of an hour! That was the best beer I have ever tasted!

I can still see that beach and remember the vibrant hues of the sea, water and sand. I haven’t forgotten my amazement as I looked into the clear water and watched small brightly coloured shoals of fish darting around our loungers. Stingrays and baby sharks, all completely harmless, came to investigate. It was definitely a little piece of heaven here on earth and would have become my happy place if I lived there!

But I live in Cheshire in England. It’s winter and cold. Currently my happy place is sitting in front of a roaring fire mesmerised by the flames, warm and cosy. I listen to the wind howling outside and the rain beating against the windows. I’ll go with this as my happy place. For now. For tonight. Who know what tomorrow might bring? 👠

Stuttering has blighted most of my life! It has prevented me from achieving my dream of being a teacher and heaped embarrassment on me over the years! My parents always thought that I would grow out of it but, unfortunately, I never did. I was never offered speech therapy or any other kind of help and just had to ‘get on with it’!

Stuttering is a speech disorder that involves frequent, significant problems with the normal fluency of speech. It is also called ‘ childhood onset fluency disorder’. Stuttering is very common among children as it is can be part of ‘learning how to speak’. Sometimes, alas, stuttering is a chronic condition that persists into adulthood. It is often genetic, which happened in my case. My father stuttered.

Most people don’t understand the effect a stutter can have on normal day to day lives. I was often ridiculed for my impediment and made to feel a freak. Reading in front of the class at school, answering questions or the telephone, just saying my name, would bring on debilitating feelings of shame, severe embarrassment and very low self-esteem. Living with a constant stutter and just hoping that no one would suddenly ask me a question, or dreading an event or social occasion, would cause huge stress and anxiety. It would keep me awake at night and I would desperately try thinking of ways to get out of the situation.

I became a walking thesaurus. Hard sounding consonants like J, D, B, V, for example, would cause a ‘block’. I would freeze and my throat constrict. Try as I might, no sound would come. I would then log onto my mental thesaurus and pick another word and force that one out! Very awkward for my Christian name as it started with a ‘J’, but my surname was okay. That was usually what I used, much to the amusement of my classmates!

As I became a teenager and started noticing boys, my stutter became even more of an issue. Being so shy, at a girls only school and having very strict parents, my early teenage years were filled with feelings of inadequacy, angst and lack of self-worth. I could expand that to self loathing as that would not be far off the mark! I obviously couldn’t teach, my place at university was cancelled and I got a job. Girls were not encouraged to have a career in South Africa when I was young. They just needed to marry well and raise a family!

When my son was little he only started speaking when he was about four! And he stuttered! There was no way that I was going to stand back and watch him live the kind of debilitating life that I had. Each time he stumbled over a word I’d hold his hands, tell him to stop, we’d both take a deep breath and he’d start again. It worked! The genetic link was broken and my son is articulate and can ‘talk the hind legs off a donkey’! However, I couldn’t replicate this treatment on myself! When I had a block, I never managed to stop, take a deep breath and try again. I just used the ‘thesaurus method’ and soldiered on!

It did help when I could ‘become’ another person. My mother used to give my sister and I the lead roles in her Sunday School plays. This was torture until I learnt my lines and ‘became’ the character. The night of the show was fine! It wasn’t me on the stage!

So, where am I now? I studied, got a good job, became a manager, gave presentations, finally stopped fretting. I did, over the years, still have the occasional ‘blocks’! When this happened I wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and roll under the carpet! Or launch myself out of the window! I have been retired for the last three and a half years. Not being at work has made my life a lot easier.

But, more to the point, I just don’t care anymore! I don’t have to play party politics with work colleagues and I have a greater choice of who I see and who I want to see! My mental thesaurus is not as good as it once was but I call upon it less! It helps with crossword puzzles so still serves some useful purpose! I have learnt to live with my disability. I would never willingly choose to stutter. However, I have accepted that it is something I was not able to completely overcome. But I have lived a good, fulfilling life despite it! This has brought some degree of comfort! I have finally found my voice!👠

It has been many years since I actively made a New Year’s resolution. These would be the usual, exercise more, eat less, buy less clothes, stop worrying ……! Gyms were always heaving in January! By February it was easier to book a class! By March class sizes had plummeted! I had also started making excuses not to attend so soon found myself in this category!

I am not proud of this admission! Alas, life just got in the way, bad habits returned and by the end of the year, I would deem myself a failure yet again! Something had to be done!

Historically, when I’ve wanted to lose a few pounds and decided to go on a diet, I would become obsessed with food. I’d plan meals and feel constantly hungry! Every waking hour I’d fantasise about large pieces of cake, chocolates, thick slices of warm bread, dripping with butter, crispy roast potatoes, the list was endless! All smells became linked to food and my diet would be history almost before it had begun!

I have learnt, by trial and error, that the only way my weight can stay on an even keel and I exercise regularly, is by changing my lifestyle. For years I have had a routine whereby I eat healthily during the week and exercise as part of my weekday regime. Weekends are for treats! This worked while I was employed and I have managed to keep the system going even since I’ve retired.

So, to improve my quality of life, I’d like to worry less and be more positive. Making it a New Year’s resolution would be a waste of time. I have, alas, accepted that I cannot achieve this on my own. I have finally bitten the bullet and sought medical advice. When years of living with high levels of anxiety had begun to affect both my mental and physical well-being, I needed to be proactive! Changing my lifestyle was not the answer to this conundrum!

I’ve tried self help, counselling and mindfulness apps in the past. These last few years have been very difficult for so many of us world wide. COVID has wreaked havoc! For me, close family bereavements, health issues and mounting stress levels finally took their toll.

It has not been easy admitting that I have a problem! There is still a stigma around any form of mental health. It was also very hard for me to accept that I needed help. I have taken the the first step, which is the hardest! My family are very supportive. The side effects from my current medications were the last straw. Stress tests have revealed that, if I could manage my anxiety levels, I wouldn’t need any medication. It was a no-brainer!

It’s bitterly cold outside and already dark at 4:00 pm but the days are slowly getting longer! I have seen the first snowdrop in my garden. There is a spring in my step and, within another few weeks, just around the corner! 🌸 👠

The build up to Christmas this year was very different. It encompassed our ‘new normal’ and had me waiting with baited breath until the 23rd December!

My daughter, partner and step daughter were arriving from Scotland a few hours before my son, daughter in law and two grandchildren from the US. Scotland had announced extra restrictions but hadn’t, fortunately, prevented anyone from travelling to England. That was a relief! America, however, was different.

My son and his family had to have a COVID test before leaving Boston. On arrival at Heathrow they had to have another PCR test before driving to Cheshire. The paperwork required by security to board the plane was excessive! The number of flights cancelled due to COVID was mounting every day so just being able to get seats had become a challenge!

I had to prepare as if nothing would prevent my family from being together on Christmas Day for the first time in many years! I had to order the turkey, get bedding and towels down from the loft, do loads of washing and make up the extra beds in preparation for everyone’s arrival!

My saving grace was that my glass is usually half empty! Not a trait that I am proud of but it does have its uses! We had stored mattresses in the eaves of the garage roof in thick plastic bags. My husband’s job was to get them down and into the house. Luckily he is still strong and very practical but did discover muscles not used for many years!

By the 22nd presents purchased on line had been received and wrapped. It was only my granddaughter’s book company that let us know, after ordering and paying, that they had run out of stock! I rushed to the village to get her a replacement gift.

I received a message from my son on the evening of the 22nd letting me know that their PCR tests in Boston were negative. They were on their way to the airport! Hurdle number one cleared! There was no further update until early on the morning of the 23rd. My daughter in law let us know that they had arrived at Heathrow and were on their way to collect their hired car. They had to have another PCR test, so, once negative results received, that would clear hurdle number two!

My daughter and her family arrived followed a few hours later by my son and his family. It was wonderful being all together again! This was such a special time and hopefully happy memories will be made by one and all! As I write this my family have arrived safely back in Boston after a long and arduous twenty four hours!

We’ve reached the end of another year, another COVID spoilt twelve months! I am probably being naive but do hope that 2022 will be different. Perhaps omicron will bring an end to restrictions and isolation as it morphs into a mild cold. I also hope that the anti-vaxxers see sense and get their jabs. That is the only way we can all fight COVID together and win.

‘Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering it will be happier ….’ Alfred Lord Tennyson.

Amen 👠

As the wheels of time go marching along I want my children to grow tall and strong

To find the courage to face every day with conviction and strength along the way

I want them to have all the best things in life and shield them from all pain and strife

And help them to find the peace that I seek, to give them courage, I don’t want them weak

Or mortally wounded by fate’s cursed blows, but sail on an ocean that peacefully flows

Through life’s treacherous harbours and turbulent seas and turn a deaf ear when old Satan’s pleas

Are coming on strong and temptation is great, please don’t fill them with bitterness and hate

Dear God, I ask you these things in your love and pray that you hear from your kingdom above

Please help me to be all the things that I should and Gaynor and Sean have a life that is good

And pure and true and never to be,

Filled with regrets

Or ashamed of me! 👠