I always thought that most unfinished tasks were temporary. Little jobs waiting patiently for a spare afternoon and or a burst of motivation. One of the greatest myths of retirement is that I would finally have the time to tackle these little ‘domestic challenges’ I had put off for years! It’s a lovely theory but definitely impractical because these little annoying ‘challenges’ are remarkably adaptable creatures. Given more time and unsupervised they are prolific breeders!
I have, on numerous occasions, written ‘to do’ lists. Currently I don’t just have one, I have a few. I’ve categorised them, in the hope that this will help. There’s the ‘waiting for perfect weather conditions’ list, and ‘it’ll only take five minutes’ list, the ‘one thing could potentially lead to another’ list, the ‘can be adapted if necessary’ list and the ‘urgent’ and ‘non urgent list’. I even have a special note book so that they are all in one place. Somehow, by writing these lists, it feels like I’m making progress and am in control. Unfortunately these lists assume a stable universe. They also assume that one glorious day every box will be ticked. But the reality is anything but stable or glorious!
Every item on my list starts life as a single task. Left untouched some get promoted to a ‘project’ or even eventually reclassified as a commitment with a ‘to be completed’ date. Reading through my notebook I could call it a collection of domestic adventures. Perhaps that would inspire me? It’s actually closer to a catalogue of postponed good intentions!
I have also created a list for my husband. It wasn’t an unreasonable one, just a few jobs that have been quietly aging around the house like a fine cheese. He studied it carefully, nodded thoughtfully and then lost it! Now you can’t ignore a list that no longer exists. There was, however, one, brief, glorious moment when the list resurfaced. We gathered around it like archaeologists discovering an ancient scroll. He then, bizarrely, added another couple of jobs to the list before putting it somewhere ‘safe’. When I’ve enquired as to its whereabouts I’m told that he’s not sure but he’ll find it. With the passing of time he now has even more jobs to complete but no actual list. It’s the domestic equivalent of increasing the national debt while shredding the accounts!
The most well read and scruffiest page in my note book is the ‘five minute’ list. Number one is to sort out the drawer that won’t close. I’ve just moved it to the newly created ‘ten minute’ list because I need to go through the drawer and ruthlessly throw out scarves not used for a number of years. I love scarves. I’m loathe to throw any out!
Number two on the list is gluing back the arm of a china doll. This is a classic example of a five minute job with a caveat. First of all I have to remember where I put the arm. The super glue tube’s lid had welded itself permanently shut. I finally remembered to put a tube of glue on the shopping list but the supermarket had sold out. This job has celebrated its first birthday, seen a Christmas and now been transferred to at least three other lists.
Then there are the slightly longer jobs which require optimism on an heroic scale! The loft needs sorting out. I can’t climb into the loft myself. Actually that’s not true. I can get in but I can’t get out! The leap from the loft to the top rung of the rickety ladder petrifies me. My husband has to climb into the loft and pass the boxes down to me. It’s on his ‘to do’ list which is probably wherever old chargers, obsolete instruction manuals and single socks go to retire.
I need to delete thousands of old emails. I should be able to do this in half hourly chunks. On a number of occasions I have sat down with my phone and good intentions to start this onerous task. I spend half an hour reading conversations I’d completely forgotten about as I trawl back to 2014, which is where I ended my last clear out. Before long I’m laughing at office gossip, reminiscing about people I haven’t seen in years and wondering whatever happened to Sybil from HR. She always insisted that meetings would only take five minutes! Two hours later we’d shuffle out of the meeting room wondering what it was all about! Needless to say, I’m still in 2014!
On some dull grey days I sit in my office and glance over at the dreaded book lying on my desk. I start paging through it trying to find the tiniest bit of motivation. Perhaps I could sew the button on that shirt before the button gets lost. I do really need to make a start on the photographs before my husband and I shuffle off our mortal coils and no one else in the family would be able to identify anyone.
So, I’ve decided to make peace with my ‘to do’ list. It’s becoming less about unfinished tasks and more about the comfort of a long term relationship. We have our ups and downs. Sometimes I tick something off just to keep its spirits up, but it often retaliates by sprouting more new jobs! Some items have been carried forward for so many years that it would feel disloyal to complete them now!
Some people leave behind a legacy. I’ll leave behind my notebook. I’ll write its eulogy on the cover.
‘This book is not a record of failure, it’s an archive of optimism. I’m sorry we never got to the end of our journey together but you served me nobly, grew enthusiastically and steadfastly refused to give up. I thank you for your patience and am sorry that we never did complete our journey together.’
But currently there is a new addition to the list which has a ‘complete by’ date so if you’ll excuse me I really must ‘finish the blog about my ‘to do’ list’ before Monday the 6th July 2026!👠
Jenny Burrell 