A few friends of mine, of a similar age, have started to de-clutter their homes. They don’t want to leave it to their children to do one day when they ‘shuffle off their mortal coils’. This has made me think about my own mortality. And it’s not a pleasant thought.
I suppose I am being a bit dramatic, or maybe even a bit selfish, but I don’t want to think about dying. I realise I won’t live forever but do I really have to start planning for my death now? I’m aware that there are two lofts full of ‘stuff’ but they’re my stuff and I don’t want to get rid of them any time soon. I can’t use the excuse that I’ll think about clearing out when I can’t get in and out of the lofts. I can just about hurl myself in, on all fours, but I can’t fling myself out. Unlike my husband. Anyway, it’s a blue job so not actually my problem.
One person’s clutter in another person’s treasure. I can relate to that! I, almost single-handedly, emptied my mother’s house when she had to go into a care home. My husband and I emptied his mother’s house when she died. Neither of them had de-cluttered. Not once did I berate them for having their homes filled with their belongings. They also had full lofts. It was their treasures. I would never have expected them to live without their ornaments, pictures, photographs, favourite books or anything else that brought them pleasure.
Now, about the lofts. I use ours for storage, of course, and yes, there probably are a few things that we’ll never use again. But I don’t know that! Fashions change. The spare bedding and towels have been used when we’ve had families from America and Australia visiting. The Christmas decorations only come out once a year. During winter my summer clothes and shoes are stored away. Not thrown away and replaced. On a number of occasions household goods have been of use to family and friends. I have a bag full of letters, cards and momentous from the children and grandchildren that they might find interesting. Is this all just ‘stuff’? There are jigsaw puzzles my husband has completed over the years. He might want to bring them down in his dotage to while away the cold, dark, wet, miserable winter hours.
Then there are the ornaments, painting, pictures from our travels, photographs, fancy glasses, dinner services, etc that fill our house. I do only need one dinner serves. I have a few. They are really pretty and I chop and change them regularly. That gives me pleasure. One of the dinner services was my mother’s. She only used it for guests. I use all of ours. We use all our fancy glasses, why keep them for the children who might not want them? I don’t enjoy dusting all my bits and bobs but they are treasures, some handed down as family heirlooms. Must I get rid of them now if my children don’t want them? Must my husband and I gradually empty our house so that we’ll rattle around in its emptiness?
I’m sure our children wouldn’t want that. Other than walking around the house with them choosing what they want and then getting rid of the rest, they can do that when we’ve gone. House clearances offer an excellent service. In the end that’s what we did for our respective parents after the family had taken what they wanted.
I digress slightly but, something I found strange. My parents never had heirlooms to hand down but my husband’s parents did. My mother-in-law told her three sons what she would bequeath to them. Each son would get a grandfather clock. One son was getting a dining room table and chairs. My husband’s legacy was a really fancy drinks cabinet, very big and very old. Then there were chests of drawers, paintings, beautiful tapestries, all very old and handed down through the generations. We couldn’t leave empty spaces in our homes to wait for them. None of us did. We shipped the drinks cabinet to my son in America, kept what we liked and could fit into our house and sold the rest.
The sun is shining outside today. I need to get out. I think I’ve depressed myself enough! No, I’m not going to get rid of anything at this stage. No, I’m not going to spend hours sorting through the lofts. They aren’t untidy and nothing is going to rot or ruin anything. It’s an extra layer of insulation so can’t be all bad! Maybe one day my husband and I will wake up and feel old and think that the time has come to prepare for our demise. Otherwise, sorry kids, the house, with all its contents, will be yours when we’ve both popped our clogs! Choose your treasures and get rid of the rest! 👠
Jenny Burrell 