Zumba 💃

For the last few months I have been going to a Zumba class. The first few classes I found very difficult but persevered because I thought that I’d soon be rhythmically pounding the floorboards like a pro!

My first class was a revelation! I was relatively confident that I would manage fairly easily to get the basic steps. Two instructors stood in the front of the hall. I decided to stand at the back of the class to familiarise myself with the routines. All I could see were two psychedelic bright green trainers moving with great speed. They were periodically blocked from view by a women leaping around with gay abandon, obviously not a novice. I needed to get closer to the front but didn’t want anyone to see me. I soon realised that I was useless. And it surprised me how utterly useless I was!

Walking home after that first class I felt very despondent. I hadn’t realised how intricate the steps would be and the speed at which my feet had to move! I had kept missing steps then trying to improvise to catch up. There was no way I could learn the dances with only partial view of the instructors. I had to bite the bullet and stand in the front. Perhaps then it would suddenly click!

So, lesson number two found me right in the front row. That was a brave move as I’d taken a huge gamble that I’d suddenly get all the steps right. I focussed on those two psychedelic green trainers. My eyes never wavered and my concentration was great! I could do this! After the warm up and the first dance I decided to ignore the arm movements and only worry about my feet. I let my arms just flap around, moving to their own rhythm.

There were no verbal instructions, only hand movements to give me a clue as to what came next. That meant that I had to learn the hand movements to preempt what those psychedelic trainers were going to do. Alas, that soon became a useless exercise. The hand movements for a merengue, salsa, cha-cha and reggaeton are all different. Then there was the soca, hip-hop, bellydance and Bhangra steps to name but a few more! There are sixteen basic Zumba steps. How long would it take me to learn the feet as well as the hand movements? The routines changed with every song. I was fast becoming more and more confused. I decided to revert back to my original plan and just look at the feet. Zumba certainly was not for the faint-hearted!

The music was loud! My watch transmits sound volumes to my phone which later warns me that I am being exposed to significantly higher intensity of environmental sound levels than advised. This could make me go deaf in my other ear! Perhaps Zumba classes should come with a health warning!

The music was very different to the kind that I usually enjoyed. The classes are based on all sorts of Latin music with versions of salsa, merengue, Cumbria and reggaeton. There are four basic rhythms, each one having four basic steps. Some of the moves are quirky which still causes added confusion!

Walking to the first class I had pictured myself feet and hand perfect! I would move like a pro, leaping around the dance floor! Soon my lithe, slim Zumba body would be toned. My bright Sweaty Betty tights would become a blurred vision as I sashayed, salsased and bellydanced at great speed, feet and arm perfect, easily keeping up with the youths!

Alas, I soon realised that was never going to happen. I am a few months down the line. I still stand in the front row, eyes glued to those two psychedelic green trainers, arm still flailing by my side. I still look nothing like a pro! But I so enjoy the challenge, the music and the dance moves. I escape into my own little world. I leap around the dance floor, sometimes getting the steps right, often not. I don’t care. I shall forever live in hope that one day it’ll click.

Perhaps one day that old lady in the front row of the Zumba class will remember all the routines and both feet and arms will move in unison! If that day ever comes you’ll be the first to know!👠