Neighbours

As the Australian soap opera reminded us, for thirty seven years, ‘Everyone loves good neighbours because good neighbours become good friends!‘

Of course we would all love good neighbours! Goes without saying! But how often do we get this wish granted?

Before I moved to my present address we lived on an estate near a small village not far from where I worked. The neighbours were fantastic! We had just arrived from South Africa and they all made our family so welcome! I soon made good friends and still communicate with some of them over thirty years later.

Every Sunday we’d be invited to one of their homes for coffee. I soon bought into this practice and happily took my turn. Whenever I worked in the front garden I’d have to add time on for chats because invariably someone in our street would be passing by and we’d exchange pleasantries. When my parents visited from South Africa they were warmly welcomed as well and used to leave feeling comforted that their family had built a strong support system if required.

Alas, after nine years some moved out and we got new neighbours with young children. I have nothing against children if they are well behaved and respectfull. But times have changed and so too has parenting. Some parents cannot believe that their little darlings do anything wrong! Not even when there’s strong evidence to prove otherwise.

Our house had a steep driveway. Hearing a noise one Saturday afternoon I looked out of a bedroom window and saw a group of young children on scooters pushing them up our driveway. They used our cars to propel themselves down the drive and into a side street. No one was waiting at the bottom to warn about passing cars. Not only was this behaviour annoying as they were very noisy, it was also dangerous!

I went outside and asked them, politely, to leave. I pointed out all of the above and warned them that they could get badly hurt or even killed by an oncoming car. They found this highly amusing but eventually left passing rude comments and showing off to their friends. This happened again the following weekend so I went to speak to their parents. I was told that children would be children and wasn’t I a child once? Both my son and daughter were at university so explained that I had children myself and would have been horrified if they had behaved in such a manner.

Things gradually became worse. Young lads on bicycles discovered our driveway. They used the garage door as their launch pad to propel themselves forward and sail over the terraced rock garden and onto the street below. We heard them banging against the garage door and wild whoops as they shot forward. This time my husband went outside to complain and threatened to call the police if it happened again. Our garage door became badly damaged as apparently this game continued after school in the afternoons when we were both at work.

We had often spoken about moving half way between my husband and my jobs as he had over an hour’s commute by car and I only had ten minutes. This, on its own, would not have been a deciding factor, but the garden was very small and the new neighbours had begun to make our lives a misery. Down the one side of the house I had planted shrubs and alpine plants and filled in the gaps with pebbles. This also became an attraction to the smaller children as they would scoop out handfuls of these pebbles and spread them over the pavement. I could never understand this logic so just put it down to wilful destruction.

We could have escalated the problem to the police or the local council but decided to make the decision to sell and move to a house with a larger garden and closer to my husband’s workplace. Having good neighbours would always be a gamble but a risk worth taking!

That was twenty years ago. Our new neighbours didn’t initially appear as friendly but we were only home at weekends and kept ourselves busy. There has never been any damage to our property or anti social behaviour. For years I missed our old neighbourhood and the good friends we had left behind. Since I’ve retired I have been able to build good relationships with a number of our close neighbours.

I have found this very rewarding and so important, especially as I’ve got older. Having this close network goes a long way to maintaining a healthy quality of life. And yes, neighbours can and have become good friends. I can vouch for that!👠