I hate going to school but there is nothing I can do. There’s no on I can talk to, no solution to pursue. So every Monday morning that feeling is back again. My life is just so awful and my heart so filled with pain.
As I wait for the school bus I’m already feeling sad. If they caught the earlier one, then it won’t be so bad. But no, I see their faces and soon I hear their jibes. Here we go, another week. I sit down and shut my eyes.
Sticks and stones don’t break your bones, I hear my mother say. But words do really hurt me. The pain never goes away. I hear their words, they stay with me and cut me like a knife. There is no escape from this, my lonely, awful life.
My parents are so busy, they just don’t have the time to sit with me when they get home. Being bullied’s not a crime! Why can’t I just be brave and strong, not let them get me down? Why can’t I stand up for myself? Feel like the village clown!
Tired of thinking what I could do to take this pain away. My mind goes round in circles as night turns into day. And back on that same treadmill, while waiting for the bus, knowing they’re going to be there and I dare not make a fuss.
And so the days turn into weeks, holiday time soon here. Looking forward to going away, long to disappear. I don’t ever want to come back and face this awful trial. For two months I can forget, but just be in denial.
So I fly off to sunny Spain, holiday with my Gran. And leave this awful life behind, I really hope I can. My cousins will all be there and we get on really well. Can’t wait to meet up once again and leave this place of hell!
Every morning as the sun comes up, before the tide is in, we run along the beach then feel the cool water on our skin. Each day brings so much pleasure and is such a lot of fun. We swim, surf and play volley ball in the hot Spanish sun.
I’ve made so many friends here, joined the local football team. I’ve learnt to fish, play crazy golf, yet often I still dream of those who make my time at school a truly awful place. It’s just not fair, makes me mad, their behaviour’s a disgrace.
The more I think about their taunts and how they make me feel, the more it seems so unfair I’m getting this raw deal. Why do I put up with it? I must be such a coward! I need to stand up to those boys, need to get empowered.
As the weeks pass happily by, feel my confidence grow. Those far off miserable days seem a life time ago. I’ve had to shop for new clothes, my others are far too small. This glorious Spanish sunshine is a boon for one and all.
Finally the holiday ends, have to go back to school. It’s time to catch the bus again, don’t want to feel a fool! I know I’ve grown much taller and I’ve even put on weight. Slowly I walk to the bus stop. I don’t want to be late.
The bus pulls up, I climb the stairs, feel my heart is racing. I slowly walk down the aisle, can’t appear self effacing. I hear the first shout from the back, drop my bag on the floor. I’ve had enough, must sort this out, not going to wait for more.
Four boys all sit together, filling a row at the back. They nudge each other and snigger. I walk straight up to Jack. He’s the ring leader, the loud one, and always been the worst. I hold my ground, no going back, it’s all been well rehearsed.
I kick his satchel out the way while glaring down at him. ‘Jack, you are pathetic, you’re a bully and you’re dim. You’ve made my life hell for so long, I’m not the only one! So, get up, Jack, you’re on your own!’ At last my time has come!
Jack just sits there, his face all red, and doesn’t say a word. ‘C’mon Jack, I taunt him, you’re already looking absurd!’ He mumbles something to his mates, I wait for him to move. ‘Have you nothing to say to me? Not have anything to prove?’
I kick his satchel one last time, tell Jack he is a fool. I sit down next to Annie, the most popular girl at school. She smiles at me, says ‘we’ll done, Tom, he needed to be told!’ My hands are shaking, my mouth is dry, must remain controlled!
Slowly I begin to relax, I’ve done the hardest thing. I’ve faced up to those bullies! That wasp has lost its sting! By standing up to Jack at last I’d recognised the traits. A bully’s just a coward and nothing without his mates!
Jenny Burrell 