Fitbit and Me 👹

It’s been almost four years since I bought my Fitbit. It’s very basic and just gives me a step count and reports on how badly I’ve slept. I’ve not upgraded because the information he shares with me is ample for my requirements!

Fitbit complains when I don’t do some form of exercise every wakeful hour. He sends me rude messages when I’m sitting in a car or watching television. As I am writing this I have been told to feed him! A bit later he’ll get more explicit and tell me to get up and go for a walk!

A lot has changed in almost four years. That’s as long as I have been a lady of leisure! Yet my relationship with Fitbit has remained constant.My son linked him to my phone so he lets me know when I receive a text message. I can actually read the message on my arm! However, maybe if I rushed to find my phone I’d be getting steps!

Fitbit also rings to let me know that I am receiving a phone call. If I’m sitting in my office with my iPad, laptop and phone to hand, all four ring at the same time! The din is enough to waken the dead! And all I have to do is reach out and answer. Once more, no steps required! Own goal, Fitbit!

Initially I found him intimidating. Every day my main goal was to get ten thousand steps. If it rained or there was a reason why this couldn’t be achieved, the evenings would find me completing an indoor circuit around the house. This, alas, is a sad but true admission of the hold Fitbit has had on me!

My Yorkshireman husband would remind me to change my route so that I didn’t wear out the carpets! He also found this behaviour, even for me, over the top and regularly questioned my sanity! Running on the spot didn’t count. Fitbit wasn’t satisfied until I moved. Whether it be a slow shuffle or a run, it was immaterial.

And Fitbit can be mean. Very mean! On a number of occasions, just as I am about to retire to bed, his battery runs out. He uses a selective warning system. If it’s during the day, he’ll send me an email. While he’s getting recharged I can sit, uninhibited and guilt free! Steps can be made up and all is not lost! But, if it’s 11:00 o’clock at night and the step count shows 9,947, that is just downright cruel!

So, embarrassingly, I do appear to be ruled by a small black band on my arm. I don’t think I’m usually so gullible. Or is this the effect retirement can have on some people? Or maybe, as my husband has suggested, there is a deeper, more sinister reason? Therapy has been mentioned, but I’ve ignored that asinine comment!

I do really enjoy seeing the total steps I have walked every week. There is satisfaction in feeling the vibration on my arm when the daily ten thousand step count has been reached. That would mean that I have been active and burnt calories to counter my very healthy appetite! It’s good to get an idea of the hours I’ve slept. Or haven’t, which is usually the case! Anyway, that’s the reason why I take notice of Fitbit. It’s for my own good! Well, isn’t it?

Then I got covid and my energy levels plummeted! I felt constantly exhausted and apathetic! It was not good! And that was when my relationship with Fitbit changed forever! No matter how many messages he sent and the strange noises he made to attract my attention, there was nothing I could do to obey him! He would just have to learn to go without! The ignored messages on my arm became more insistent! Feed me, let’s go for a walk, easy peasy nice and easy, get up, let’s go! Messages I had never even seen before!

So, how did I feel when I ignored Fitbit? Slight panic at first because of my inactivity. My appetite had vanished. Just getting out of bed felt like a Herculaneum task! But, and this is the important bit, I stopped feeling intimidated! This was replaced by irritation and a constant reminder that I was doing nothing. Gaining confidence but also gaining weight!

I’ve survived covid and am sitting in the conservatory nursing a cup of tea. I get a message from Fitbit. I ignore him. I don’t even look at my arm. I feel empowered!

‘Starve, you greedy, useless machine’! I mutter beneath my breath. ‘Or why don’t you just go to sleep and never wake up’!

‘You’ve finally flipped’. I look up and see my husband staring at me. ‘I knew this would eventually happen. It was only a matter of time!’

With a flourish I release Fitbit’s strap and plonk him, unceremoniously, down on the table.

My husband finds this amusing. ‘And finally seen the light! Took you long enough!’

‘Watch it,’ I glare back at him. ‘Yes, I have seen the light and I’m on a roll. One down, one to go!’ 👠