It has been many years since I actively made a New Year’s resolution. These would be the usual, exercise more, eat less, buy less clothes, stop worrying ……! Gyms were always heaving in January! By February it was easier to book a class! By March class sizes had plummeted! I had also started making excuses not to attend so soon found myself in this category!
I am not proud of this admission! Alas, life just got in the way, bad habits returned and by the end of the year, I would deem myself a failure yet again! Something had to be done!
Historically, when I’ve wanted to lose a few pounds and decided to go on a diet, I would become obsessed with food. I’d plan meals and feel constantly hungry! Every waking hour I’d fantasise about large pieces of cake, chocolates, thick slices of warm bread, dripping with butter, crispy roast potatoes, the list was endless! All smells became linked to food and my diet would be history almost before it had begun!
I have learnt, by trial and error, that the only way my weight can stay on an even keel and I exercise regularly, is by changing my lifestyle. For years I have had a routine whereby I eat healthily during the week and exercise as part of my weekday regime. Weekends are for treats! This worked while I was employed and I have managed to keep the system going even since I’ve retired.
So, to improve my quality of life, I’d like to worry less and be more positive. Making it a New Year’s resolution would be a waste of time. I have, alas, accepted that I cannot achieve this on my own. I have finally bitten the bullet and sought medical advice. When years of living with high levels of anxiety had begun to affect both my mental and physical well-being, I needed to be proactive! Changing my lifestyle was not the answer to this conundrum!
I’ve tried self help, counselling and mindfulness apps in the past. These last few years have been very difficult for so many of us world wide. COVID has wreaked havoc! For me, close family bereavements, health issues and mounting stress levels finally took their toll.
It has not been easy admitting that I have a problem! There is still a stigma around any form of mental health. It was also very hard for me to accept that I needed help. I have taken the the first step, which is the hardest! My family are very supportive. The side effects from my current medications were the last straw. Stress tests have revealed that, if I could manage my anxiety levels, I wouldn’t need any medication. It was a no-brainer!
It’s bitterly cold outside and already dark at 4:00 pm but the days are slowly getting longer! I have seen the first snowdrop in my garden. There is a spring in my step and, within another few weeks, just around the corner! 🌸 👠
Jenny Burrell 