During this pandemic and into our third lockdown, mental illness has escalated. Being physically unwell is easy to understand as the patient invariably looks ill. Most of us are visual so can see the disability which makes sympathising so much easier! Mental illness is the challenge! The patient often looks fit and well yet their behaviour can become unacceptable getting them ostracised, ignored or even intensely disliked. When a mental illness is diagnosed it is so much harder to accept.
When I was a young girl I watched a friend picking her alcoholic father up out of the gutter and tenderly walking him home. My friend was slight and frail, her father a strapping six foot giant! Yet she was determined that he came to no harm and wouldn’t let any of us help with her precious charge.
My father had vascular dementia. He was an artist and painting had been his passion for years. One day I vividly remember spending ages trying to explain that the leopard he had painted looked strange. My father had lost his perspective and the animal appeared to be in three unconnected parts. The man before me looked and spoke like my father. I had just not fully understood, or perhaps, fully accepted, that he was ill and needed to be encouraged, not ‘criticised’. This had been an unintentional oversight because, over the years, I had always given my honest opinion.
And then my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I was slightly better prepared but still found it so difficult to accept the full ramifications of her disease. She looked well. In fact, as her stress levels diminished, so did her wrinkles! Because she was given wholesome regular meals in the care home, she looked physically better than she had done for many years.
I have been married for a long time! I was devastated when my husband was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. He had to suffer months of chemotherapy. He had a very physical disease. I saw this strong, healthy, indestructible man unable to get out of bed in the morning. His body was being slowly destroyed by the poison pumped into it! But he had a physical illness. Far easier to comprehend.
I know of many circumstances where people won’t accept that they have a mental health problem. Alas, there comes a time when decisions have to be made. Sadly, it often takes a crisis and someone to get hurt, or worse, to be the wake up call. The earlier help is sought the better! Everyone is entitled to and deserves a quality of life, not only those who are ill but the many people they affect.
I feel very sorry and helpless when I see partnerships unravelling, be it friendships or marriages. Like my husband, who has thankfully fully recovered, I really appreciate the time I spend with him. That there is help available for mental illness and addictions brings hope to those battling debilitating, personal torment. With proper support they can go on to lead normal, happy, healthy lives. Unfortunately, throughout these lockdowns, accessing treatment is not straightforward. Fear, embarrassment, long waiting lists and perpetually being told that the NHS is becoming overwhelmed, are all deterrents.
On the news channel yesterday I saw an interview with one of the country’s top divorce solicitors. There are going to be many non-COVID casualties and unfortunately the breakup of partnerships is going to be one of them. She explained how mental health problems and addictions had exacerbated a large number of separations. So sad, especially if children are involved.
So, everyone who is eligible for the vaccine, please take up the offer! This will be the only way we can edge closer to normality and everyone who needs help and support can get it. Do this for your loved ones and for the rest of the country. Feeling helpless and struggling with any kind of illness under lockdown must be so lonely and very frightening. The only light at the end of their tunnel is the vaccination of as many people as possible. This will stop the spread of the virus and slow down new mutations. We can all play our part. Let’s show our gratitude and support our scientists who have worked so tirelessly and unselfishly for many months. Having a united front can and will help save lives! đź‘
Jenny Burrell 