It’s been a funny old week! Now that lockdown has eased slightly we have taken the opportunity to spend time at my mother in law’s house. We need to get it ready to put on the market. Significantly easier said than done!
My mother in law has a house full of china and collectibles. She was always so proud of her ‘things’ and often walked me around her home explaining the history and value of these trinkets. It was the first time I had heard of a bread fork. My mother in law has dozens!
She also left a house full of clothes, shoes, crockery, cutlery, bottles of different drinks, tins, home made jams and chutneys and a fridge and two deep freezers packed to capacity! Just in case there was a Third World War and she couldn’t get out for months, or, in my mother in law’s case, years!
So, when she passed away in March, there was a huge challenge to get the house sale ready. She had three sons who each had a partner. I’m the wife of the eldest. The next son’s partner has been very unwell for a number of years and we haven’t seen them since the end of 2018. The youngest son and his wife are actively involved in all things family. They have also taken it upon themselves to make a start on cleaning and tidying up the house.
Before I continue, let me explain. My mother in law wasted nothing! She even made lettuce soup if there were a few straggly leaves that needed eating! Her deep freezers bore testimony to her extreme frugality. There are many small bundles of frozen food wrapped in cling film, contents unknown, carefully fitted into tiny available spaces.
The youngest son’s wife had a house cleaning business. When my mother in law was alive I used to help by keeping her kitchen clean. A chore not enjoyed but one of necessity. She had a cleaner for an hour once a week who ‘did’ her bedroom, washed the bedding and gave the bathrooms a ‘once over’. The kitchen was rarely scrubbed to my standards. Throw in my serious gluten problem and surfaces filled with crumbs of every gluten ilk had to go!
So that was my by-weekly chore. My youngest sister in law, the actual cleaner, used to tidy up and make the rooms look ‘pretty’. However, when my mother in law passed away her and my brother in law came into their own. They scrupulously cleaned the house.
They also filled garbage bag after garbage bag and wheelie bin after wheelie bin with everything they thought had passed its sell by dates. Even if it hadn’t! Bring in my husband who has inherited his mother’s frugal gene. When I say that he went ballistic, this is no overstatement! And my mother in law would be looking down in utter disgust and equally incensed as she watched her world war three rations disrespectfully swept away with gay abandon!
On every subsequent visit my husband has dug out tinned and bottled food, clothing, cushions, trays, bowls and more food. Furious! Turning the air many shades of blue!
The middle brother sadly lost his partner a few weeks ago so we still haven’t seen him and he has not been to the house. Two extremes. The youngest and his wife were constant visitors and phoned every day. They involved themselves in all aspects of my mother in law’s life, medical care, friends, family and neighbours. My husband and I chugged along somewhere in the middle, very aware that my mother in law hated fuss and we respected her refusal to give up her independence!
Things have gone missing over the last few months. Lack of communication caused some unpleasantness as presumptions created a blame culture and eventually had to be confronted to prevent a family fallout! What has transpired is that a number of front door keys were handed out (last count was ten!) so theft unfortunately has taken place.
The front door lock has been changed. All the family are on speaking terms once more and I am hopeful that communication channels will remain freely open and accessible. Life is too short to bear grudges and I refuse to quibble over small pieces of china or the disappearance of semi precious stone eggs. Not having the frugal gene I have easily moved on. There is nothing I can do about the ‘criminal’ waste. My husband made a concerted effort to minimise it but had to be reigned in when it got out of hand! Our food cupboards are fast becoming replicas of his mother’s!
We have one last hurdle to climb before the estate agent arrives with his camera. Every appliance box has been kept for the last umpteen years! The contents of a huge store room are going to be moved into the loft and will become a challenge for another day! That’s our job for next week. Let’s wait and see who gets them back down when they’ll fill garbage bag after garbage bag and wheelie bin after wheelie bin …… 👠
Jenny Burrell 