On Monday I woke up with an uncomfortable sensation in my throat. I ignored it and carried on as usual, going to circuit training and then on to a talk about chutney. This doesn’t sound very interesting but the woman giving the demonstration was hilarious! She had us in fits of laughter and didn’t even need to show us how to make plum chutney in the hour it took her to chop up onions, garlic and mountains of fruit!
Tuesday morning I awoke feeling as if my throat had been slashed! I had apparently snored through the night! Not likely! I don’t snore! My husband does! I went downstairs and had a coffee before sucking on a lozenge. I was going to yoga come what may so needed to just get on with it! The weather looked awful! It was pouring with rain which showed no sign of abating! The wood at the bottom of our garden was barely visible. A few black leafless trees stood guard at the perimeter as dense fog crept ever closer. Within seconds the trees had vanished and our garden had also became engulfed. A shiver crept up my spine. My head had begun to throb and I felt claustrophobic, caught in a bubble with no means of escape!
Rather melodramatic, but, feeling pathetic and very sorry for myself, my imagination had taken wings! I went into the television room and turned on the news. I’m not sure why as it’s not something anyone would do to feel uplifted! So I wallowed in self pity, staring outside at nothing! Just a grey swirling mass of absolutely nothing! The throbbing in my head had intensified and I had begun to cough, a croaking, rasping sound. I closed my eyes. I didn’t know when last I had felt so ill! A thought flashed through my mind. I’d had the flu jab so it couldn’t be flu! But what if, heaven forbid, I had Man Flu!
That was my epiphany! No way was I going to continue in this vein! I turned off the television and stood up, too quickly because the floor shot up to meet me! But I soldiered on! I cleaned the bathrooms and washed the kitchen floor! This was probably the martyr in me but it gave me a strange sense of achievement before I once more collapsed into a miserable, shaking pile of jelly!
Alas, I didn’t make it to the yoga class. Carrying my heavy bag up the hill in the pouring rain and fighting my way through the dense fog was not going to happen! I cannot lie. I succumbed to the dreaded ‘lurgi’. I curled up in front of the television and watched a John Wayne cowboy movie, a warm blanket wrapped around my aching body! There are many strains of flu. The strains of flu in this year’s batch of flu jabs must have missed this one! And, just to be clear, it certainly wasn’t Man Flu ……… trust me👠
Jenny Burrell 