The relationship I’ve had with my grandchildren has always had to be quality over quantity. I have never had the luxury of being just down the road to babysit. I have worked throughout the years they lived in England so was never able to help with childcare either.
When my two grandchildren lived in Nottingham and were quite young my husband and I used to periodically meet at a roadside cafe near Uttoxeter on a Saturday morning. We’d take the children back home with us and return them on the Sunday evening.
We’d plan outings for the Saturday. My grandson supported Liverpool and Manchester United football teams so he was able to visit both grounds. Luckily these cities were within an hour’s drive from where we lived. There were a number of museums, which always had educational areas for children and other places of interest we could all enjoy. We also lived about the same distance from Chester and a beach in North Wales so these were other options.
Chester zoo had to be a favourite! I remember pushing my granddaughter in her pram as she sat, relaxed and contented, watching the animals while periodically holding her hand up for a drink or something to eat. Eventually my grandson decided that he had done enough walking so they swapped places! My granddaughter’s little legs didn’t take long to tire so the rest of the afternoon I pushed the pram and grandad carried his granddaughter on his shoulders. A good time was had by all!
My son relocated to Kent and then to the US so we have seen even less of our grandchildren over the years. But that does not mean that there is no bond between us or that we meet up again as strangers. On the contrary, we take up where we had left off and our relationship is as strong, loving and happy as ever!
My grandson is now a teenager. A very normal teenager living in this technology driven world. My son and daughter-in-law have ground rules but boundaries are pushed at every opportunity! Much like his father when he was a teenager! I am eternally grateful that my two children lived in the pre-technology era where all we had to hope was that they steered clear of drugs and alcohol. Peer pressure, however, remains the same but on-line bullying, hacking and grooming were thankfully never part of that generation.
My granddaughter still has a couple of years to wait before her teenage hormones kick in! She is an artistic, sensitive little girl but very techno savvy! This is because both her parents are aware of the potential dangers and regular checks are made for transparency. Open dialogue is a fundamental part of their every day lives.
I am as protective over my grandchildren as I still am over my adult children but a grandparent’s relationship is different. It is definitely more fun because the overall responsibility of ensuring ground rules are adhered to remains with their parents! Not that I would encourage disruptive or antisocial behaviour but slightly bending some rules here and there without causing any significant disruption must surely be a grandparent’s prerogative?
Yesterday I reclined on a sun lounger and watched my family enjoying themselves in the swimming pool. They took turns trying to get a ball into a net and shrieks of delight or frustration kept the whole family busy for a couple of hours!
So I hold onto these precious moments, enjoy them while they last and keep these happy memories locked away to recall later. This sounds very negative but life has made me cynical and I am constantly reminded to revel in the good times. Like the bad, nothing lasts forever! 👠
Jenny Burrell 