Yesterday my brother came to visit. He was diagnosed with pneumonia a couple of weeks ago so it was good to see him looking fit and well. We had lunch and then set off to visit my mother.
I had arranged for a carer to accompany us to our usual tearoom. I was surprised when the care manager told me that she would be joining us. Our usual carer had unwittingly suffered severe sunburn and couldn’t wear his uniform.
My brother hadn’t seen Mum for a few months so I wasn’t sure how she would react. I don’t know if she did recognise him because I was concentrating on trying to manoeuvre my husband’s suv đźš™ out of a parking space where the parking aids flashed and bleeped loudly every time I moved! I use this car once a week when I take my mother out because my car only has two seats, so parking this ‘tank’ increases my stress levels significantly!
We didn’t sing to Elvis. Mum sat in the back with my brother. I thought it would be a chance for him to speak to her. Her deterioration has been a lot slower for me because I see her regularly, but for both my brother and sister, her mental decline would have accelerated quite significantly.
What has become the norm, all parking spaces close to the tearoom were filled so I dropped my mother, brother and care manager at the tearoom door and parked at the end of the village. Fitbit approved as I hastily made my way back to the tearoom, arriving hot and bothered and looking forward to a cup of tea and a slice of delicious apple pie!
My brother had never met the care manager. She is very well qualified and so easy to speak to so she was able to allay a number of his concerns. Looking at Mum paging through a magazine, relaxed and happy, resulted in a very enjoyable afternoon.
Driving back to the care home the care manager told Mum that supper would be in half an hour. Mum commented that she was going to do what she wanted to and it wasn’t going to be good! This is Mum asserting her authority and telling the care manager that she wouldn’t be having supper!
My son-in-law is a Psychologist and explained that some dementia patients revert back to an earlier stage in their lives. This makes sense because one resident has a teddy bear that has to be fed and clothed before she lets a carer help her. This teddy has its own drawer and never leaves her side. There is another resident who walks around asking for taxi money to get home to feed her children. So sad. Therefore, I have decided that Mum has reverted back to her rebellious teenage years hence her comment about supper. There are many more amusing examples of her stubbornness and determination!
So another very busy week has flown by and the weekend beckons. How did I ever find the time to work? đź‘
Jenny Burrell 